


A Smooth Sea Never Made a Skilled Sailor

by midnightskies



Series: it's always darkest before the dawn [2]
Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Angst, Blow Jobs, Domestic Fluff, Established Relationship, Fluff, Game of Thrones References, Happy Ending, M/M, Mention of Rape/Non-con, Nightmares, Recovery, Swearing, Tattoos, Therapy, families, past abusive relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-16
Updated: 2018-01-16
Packaged: 2019-03-05 16:27:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 28,056
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13391721
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/midnightskies/pseuds/midnightskies
Summary: Louis loves many things; beer, game of thrones, shepherd's pie, and weddings, but most of all he absolutely, undeniably loveshisboyfriend Harry Styles.





	A Smooth Sea Never Made a Skilled Sailor

**Author's Note:**

> Sequel to Stop Making Tired Excuses
> 
> Oops it's been 3 years! I planned this fic in 2014 straight after I posted stop making tired excuses and I wrote about half of it then but then clearly just dropped off the face of the earth, so sorry this has taken so long, but we've finally made it!!
> 
> Hope you enjoy!  
> Also, please read the tags because there is mention of a past abusive relationship and there is a dream where there are non-con elements!! I haven't tagged rape/non-con as a warning because technically it doesn't occur, but there is implications of it and mention of it so please if you're triggered by anything like that, don't read. 
> 
> You can find me on Tumblr at [aimhlarrie](http://www.aimhlarrie.tumblr.com)
> 
> Thank you so much to my [beta](https://nightwideopen.tumblr.com), you're amazing!

Harry snuffles in his sleep slightly, burying his head further into the pillow and rolling over so he's more comfortably cuddled into Louis' side. Louis smiles down at him, his eyes crinkling. He then brings his hand up again and runs it down the side of Harry’s face.

“Lou,” Harry whines, trying to get away from Louis' hand without actually moving away from Louis' warmth.

Louis chuckles, running his fingers through Harry’s hair. “You need to wake up, darling,” he whispers. “We’re going to your mum’s today, remember?”

“Could’ve woken me up with a blow job.” Harry comments with his eyes still closed. 

“Now, I could have done that,” Louis smiles. “But would you really want to be asleep for your first blow job from me? I’ve been told they’re quite brilliant.”

Harry opens his eyes, glaring at Louis slightly. “No giving other boys blow jobs, only me.”

Louis lets out a loud laugh, leaning down to kiss Harry’s temple. 

“Never, only you, sweetcheeks,” he whispers in Harry’s ear, kissing behind the lobe gently. “I’ll have to tell Zayn I can’t give him sexual favours anymore,” he says, pulling back grinning. 

He laughs loudly when Harry swats his arm and pouts his lips. 

“I’m joking, darling,” he tells Harry. “You’re the only one for me.”

Harry sits up slowly, and Louis soon follows wrapping his arms around Harry’s waist. 

“You promise?” Harry asks.

“With all my heart,” Louis grins, kissing Harry’s cheek. Louis then pushes Harry to lie back down on the bed and straddles his waist. He bends down and places a kiss on both of Harry’s cheeks, his head and the corner of his mouth. 

“My lips are here,” Harry says, pouting his lips to draw attention to them.

“Trust me, I know,” Louis smiles, leaning back down to kiss the other corner of Harry’s mouth. 

He kisses Harry’s nose gently before moving down so his lips are hovering over Harry’s. 

“You’re the only one I want to kiss for the rest of my life, okay?” Louis whispers against Harry’s lips.

“Okay,” Harry whispers back, nodding his head.

Louis grins and leans down to finally connect their lips. He presses his lips gently at first against Harry’s, Harry moves his hands from around Louis' waist up to the back of his head, pressing him closer. Louis laughs and bites at Harry’s bottom lip before positioning his body so he’s lying down on top of Harry with his legs in between Harry’s. He tries to tuck his cold bare toes under Harry’s legs but Harry moves his legs, shaking his head as much as he can. Louis huffs and kisses him a bit harder before pulling back. 

“My toes are cold,” he pouts.

Harry laughs before kissing Louis' forehead and moving his legs back so Louis can put his toes underneath his legs. 

“It’s a good thing I like you.”

“Best thing,” Louis agrees grinning.

Harry smiles widely; he then furrows his brow slightly. 

“Did I wake up last night?”

“You didn’t wake up once,” Louis shrugs his shoulders. “Well, from what I know you didn’t.”

“No nightmares,” Harry breathes, smiling.

Louis nods his head grinning. “No nightmares.”

“Thank you,” Harry smiles, kissing the corner of Louis' mouth. “For being here.”

“Wouldn’t want to be anywhere else, darling.”

Harry grins and leans up to capture Louis' lips in his own, Louis laughs smiling against Harry’s lips. Harry runs his hands down Louis' sides before squeezing his bum, Louis laughs and pecks Harry’s lips twice more before pulling away slightly. 

“Cheeky,” he comments. 

Harry grins; his dimple on full display and Louis can’t help himself so he pokes it gently. “Babe,” Harry whines.

Louis grins before pecking Harry once more. “We need to get up if we want to actually catch the train,” he says, moving down to lay his head on Harry’s chest. 

Harry sighs, but smiles slightly when he feels Louis tracing patterns on his bare chest. “I want to spend all day in bed with you.”

“We can,” Louis says, grinning up at Harry. “When we get back from seeing your family.” He reluctantly gets up off of Harry and walking into the bathroom.

“Lou,” Harry whines, but Louis doesn’t turn back to him. “Arse-faced tosser,” Harry mutters and Louis laughs loudly before turning back and winking at Harry then closing the bathroom door and turning the shower on.  

Louis is about five minutes into his shower when he hears the bathroom door open. “Harry?” he calls out. 

“Yes,” Harry coming into the view of the shower door.

Louis smiles when he notices Harry is only in his boxers and a jumper, he opens the door and peeps his head out. “You coming in, my love?”

Harry shrugs his shoulders furrowing his brows. “Not sure,” he sighs. 

“Nothing to be scared of, darling,” Louis says holding his hand out. “I like you and I like your body from what I’ve seen so far.”

Grinning widely, Harry moves forward slightly and takes Louis' hand in his own before placing a kiss on the back of his hand. 

“Eric never liked me showering with him,” he whispers against Louis' skin.

“Eric is a twat,” Louis hisses, Harry looks up and meets his eye and Louis gives him a hesitant smile. “I want you to shower with me.”

“He said it was because he’d been with me all night and he always needed time away from me.”

Louis closes his eyes and breathes deeply before opening them again and looking at Harry. “Harry, Eric is stupid,” he tells him. “Stupid for not wanting to spend as much time as he possibly could with you. Unlike him, I want to do that.”

“Yeah?” Harry asks grinning shyly, still gripping Louis' hand in his own.

“Yeah,” Louis says, nodding his head. “Now get in the shower before I freeze my bollocks off.” He ducks back into the shower and closes the door.

Louis looks out of the corner of his eye while he is washing his body to see Harry looking hesitantly at the closed shower door. Harry then sighs to himself and peels off the jumper first, then his boxers. 

He runs his hand hesitantly through his hair before he steps forward and brings his hand up shakily to the door and pulls it open. He climbs in the shower behind where Louis is facing the spray of the water and instantly wraps himself around Louis from behind. 

“Alright, love?” Louis asks, tilting his head to look back at Harry as much as he can. 

Harry nods his head. He then goes past Louis to the spray of water and places himself directly under the spray before huddling back into Louis' chest.

“You sure you’re alright?” Louis asks running his hand through Harry’s hair. “You can get out if it’s too much.”

Harry shakes his head and brings his arms tighter around Louis' waist. 

“It’s hard to explain,” he sighs. “I know you’re not going to hurt me, but I’m still scared you might.”

“Baby,” Louis says sadly looking down at Harry who manages to avoid his gaze by hiding his head in Louis' chest. “I’d never hurt you, _ever_.”

“I know that,” Harry says, his voice slightly muffled by Louis' chest. “But I’m still scared, why am I so fucking scared all the time?” He asks brokenly, pulling his head away from Louis' chest to look him in the eye. 

Louis sighs sadly noticing the tears forming in Harry’s eyes and he runs his hand carefully down Harry’s cheek. 

“It’s okay to be scared,” he reassures Harry.

“No,” Harry huffs shaking his head. “It’s annoying, I’m like a bloody baby.”

“I don’t think babies have this many tattoos,” Louis smirks, trailing his hand down Harry’s stomach lingering briefly to caress the butterfly on his stomach.

Harry lets out a sudden loud laugh at that and drops his hand to grab Louis' on his chest. He brings it up to his mouth and kisses the palm of it. “You’re such an arse,” he says fondly. 

“No, I’m not,” Louis grins. “But I do have a great arse, and you can cop a feel any time you want.”

“Oh, I can, can I?” Harry smirks, bringing his hands down over Louis' side and around to his bum. 

“Boyfriend privileges,” he comments, leaning up to kiss Harry on the cheek.

“Boyfriend?” Harry smiles widely. 

Louis nods his head, rolling his eyes. “Of course, keep up,” he huffs. “You can call me your boyfriend, your spouse or your much better half, I’m fine with any of them really.”

“Spouse,” Harry says his eyes twinkling. “Wouldn’t we have to be married?”

“Details, details,” Louis dismisses, waving his hand. “Though I was hoping you’d go for your much better half,” he sighs.

Harry laughs and ducks to kiss Louis before turning to get the shampoo. “Right, turn around, spouse,” Harry grins when he turns back to face Louis. “I’m going to wash your hair.”

“You are just a darling,” Louis says turning around. “Wait until I tell Zayn about this, he’ll be very jealous. I bet Niall doesn’t wash his hair.”

“No, he probably doesn’t,” Harry chuckles. “Zayn probably washes Niall’s hair because he’s so whipped.”

“Does that mean you’re whipped as well, Styles?” Louis smirks, turning back toward Harry and winking. 

Harry just holds his hand up to his mouth and gestures for Louis to be quiet, Louis smiles and turns back around. He sighs contently when he feels Harry’s hand massaging the shampoo in his hair. 

“Never had your hair washed before?” Harry laughs. 

“Oh, I have. Zayn did before when our shower broke so we had to wash each other’s hair in the kitchen sink,” he tells Harry. “It was nothing like this though, you’re lovely, and Zayn was brutal.”

“Good to know,” Harry smiles.

Louis shuts his eyes while Harry continuously runs his hands through Louis' hair. He keeps his eyes closed for the entire time, even when Harry guides him under the stream of water to wash the shampoo out of his hair. He only opens his eyes when Harry pushes him too far back and he gets a face full of water. 

“What was that for?” he huffs, rubbing the water from his eyes. 

“You weren’t listening to a word I was saying,” Harry pouts. 

Louis smiles slightly and brings his hand up to Harry’s lip to stroke over his bottom lip, which is pouted out slightly. 

“Sorry, darling,” he says. “Didn’t know you were speaking.”

“Obviously,” Harry comments, kissing Louis' finger that is still rubbing over his lips. 

“What were you saying?” Louis asks bringing his fingers away from Harry’s mouth and squirting some shampoo onto his hand before rubbing it into Harry’s hair. 

Harry shrugs his shoulders. “Just asking if you were nervous to meet my family.”

“Already met your mum, that’s usually the hardest one, innit?” Louis says, but Harry looks at him doubtfully. “Okay, I’m nervous.”

“Thought you might be,” Harry smiles. 

Louis huffs and finishes rubbing the shampoo into his hair, he leads Harry under the water and washes the shampoo out of his hair. “Very reassuring you are,” he comments dryly.

“You’ll be fine,” Harry replies. “Mum already likes you, you know that.”

Of course Louis knew that, he was the one who went and told her that her son was getting abused. He’s the one who she texts every other day to check in on Harry after getting his number from him. He knows that she at least tolerates him, and she likes him at least more than she likes Eric, and Louis counts that as a win. 

“I know, but still,” Louis huffs. “I have to meet Gemma still, and I’ve heard she’s hard to impress.”

Harry smiles and steps out of the way of the spray of the shower and shakes his hair to get out some of the water. 

“She’s a softie really, just seems intimidating,” he says leaning down to kiss Louis' head. “Bit like you, really.”

“Excuse me,” Louis frowns. “I am not a softie.”

Harry raises his eyebrows and smiles. “Of course you’re not, darling.”

Louis narrows his eyes and glares at Harry’s back while he steps out of the shower and takes Louis' towel. 

“Hey,” he says getting Harry’s attention. “Get your own towel, Styles.”

“I’ve got one,” Harry laughs, holding up Louis'. He then wraps the towel around his waist and walks out of the bathroom leaving Louis dripping wet from the shower and without a towel. 

“Bastard,” Louis mutters.

He steps out of the shower, shivering as the cold air hits him before he walks slowly toward the door and opens it carefully to see if anyone is there. Once he sees that there is no one in sight he runs across the hall to the cupboard where they keep the towels, he grabs the first one he gets his hands on. He wraps it around himself and then darts back down the hall toward his room to see Harry sitting on the bed smirking with _Louis's_ towel still wrapped around his waist. 

“Someone is a bit smug,” Louis comments, huffing as he walks over to his chest of drawers and picks out some jeans and a top.

“Always smug when it comes to you, love,” Harry smiles, standing up and leaning down by Louis to kiss his hair. “You should wear this top, looks so hot on you,” he says, picking up a top and giving it to Louis.

“Sure thing,” Louis kisses his cheek before standing up and grabbing boxers. “Get dressed then, we need to leave for the train station in ten minutes. We’ll have to grab a bite to eat when we get there.”

Harry nods his head and kisses Louis once more before going back into his room to get changed. When he comes back into the room ten minutes later they’re both fully dressed with their hair dry, Louis smiles when he sees Harry’s hair is all down.

“No bobble or bandana today?” Louis asks, gesturing to Harry’s hair. 

“Nope,” he grins. “Just going to let it be free today.”

“What about your tits? You letting them be free today as well?” Louis laughs gesturing to Harry’s shirt, which only has the bottom few buttons done up.

Harry puts his arm over the top part of his chest to cover his nipples and pouts. 

“Louis,” he whines. “Leave my nipples out of this.”

“All four of them?” Louis asks, grinning wickedly. 

Harry just pouts even more while Louis grabs his hand and their bags and drags him out toward the door and to the train station, only kissing his pouting lips when they get there. 

***

They end up running to the train station, firstly because they are slightly late and Louis only blames Harry, of course. It also begins tipping it down with rain half way there and both of them were stupid enough not to bring an umbrella. 

By the time they get on the train they are both drenched from head to toe. To top it off, just because he is an arse, Harry shakes his hair right over Louis, dripping even more water on Louis. “Thanks, babe,” Louis mutters sarcastically.

“No problem,” Harry grins, grabbing Louis' hand and pulling him over to two empty chairs. He pushes Louis into the window seat then he takes the aisle seat for himself, and leans his body back against Louis'.

Louis rolls his eyes but instinctively wraps his arm around Harry’s shoulder, and grabbing Harry’s hand with his free hand. 

It’s not too long into their journey before Harry bends down to get his bag off the floor and brings his iPod out, offering Louis an ear bud. “Sharing is caring?” Louis asks with a smile. 

“You catch on fast,” Harry grins. “This is why Mum likes you.”

Then there it is, the sense of dread pooling in Louis' stomach. He _knows_ Anne likes him. Any mother would like the boy that helped her son get out of an abusive relationship, but does she really like him for any other reason? Louis isn’t usually a self-deprecating person, but he just needs Harry’s family to like him. He doesn’t know what he’d do if they didn’t. 

“Stop worrying,” Harry observes, running his hand lightly through Louis' hair. “You’re making me nervous.”

“Would you still like me if Gemma or your mum didn’t?” he asks taking Harry’s hand that’s on his face into his own. 

Harry grins widely, “I think I’d still like you if you had two heads, to be honest.”

“Well then that’s good to know if I ever want to grow an extra head,” Louis says, rolling his eyes before looking away from Harry to the trees passing by out the window of the train. He feels Harry’s fingers on his cheek and he turns to see Harry smiling at him offering him the ear bud again, which he gladly takes and places it in his right ear, leaving Harry with the left ear bud. 

Harry presses play on his iPod then leans back into his seat, cuddling slightly into Louis as he does. Louis grins down at him and runs his hands through Harry’s hair. 

“I think I’ll always like you,” he admits. 

“Yeah?” Harry smiles, looking up at him. 

Louis nods his head. 

“Me too,” Harry agrees.

“Would you still like me if I turned as evil and bitter as Joffrey?” Louis asks, his eyebrows furrowing. 

Harry laughs slightly, leaning up to kiss Louis' cheek. “I’d never let you get like that, babe,” he says. “Don’t even worry about that.”

“That doesn’t answer my question,” Louis frowns. 

“Of course I’d still like you,” Harry smiles. “I’d just be your evil queen ruling beside you.”

Louis laughs loudly then covers his mouth with his hand. “I don’t think you could ever be evil, darling,” he says. “You just don’t have it in you.”

Harry pouts and Louis is just _so_ in love with Harry right now that he leans down to kiss his lips gently. 

“Stop frowning, you’ll get wrinkles,” he jokes, running his hand lightly over Harry’s forehead. “Now be a darling and pass us the biscuits.”

Rolling his eyes, Harry leans back down into his bag and grabs the packet of biscuits they managed to get in the shop on the way to the train station along with two sandwiches. 

After a while of the two sitting there and sharing the packet of biscuits listening to Ed Sheeran’s latest album, Harry reaches down into his bag and grabs the sandwiches. 

“Right, do you want the egg and cress sandwich, or the all day breakfast sandwich?” Harry asks holding up both sandwiches. 

“Who do you think I am?” Louis scoffs rolling his eyes and reaching for the all day breakfast sandwich. “Egg and cress, honestly? Told you I wouldn’t eat that shit when you picked it up, what even is cress?” he mutters. 

“ _It_ is very nice, thank you very much,” Harry says, opening his sandwich and taking an exaggerated bite out of it. 

Louis leans forward and presses a kiss to Harry’s closed mouth. “You’re a child, honestly,” he whispers. 

Harry swallows what he has in his mouth and grins. 

“Got a proper picnic here, babe,” he observes. “Biscuits, sandwiches and Pringles in my bag.”

“Still think we should’ve got Doritos and a salsa dip instead, it was like the same price,” Louis mutters. 

“But we always have that, thought a change might be nice for once,” Harry says, pulling the Pringles out of his bag and pushing them in Louis' face. 

“Alright, I get it Styles, Pringles are nice,” Louis relents. “We should’ve got a flask of tomato soup though, that would’ve just made it top notch.”

Harry smiles and intertwines their fingers, the Pringles set in between them and their sandwiches forgotten about on the pull-down tables in front of them. 

“Next time,” he says, leaning up to kiss Louis.

***

“Stop being a baby,” Harry huffs, pulling Louis' hand and dragging him down the street along to Harry’s house. “I thought big bad Louis wasn’t afraid of anything.”

“Only scared when it comes to you, love,” he says, pulling their intertwined hands up to his mouth and kissing the back of Harry’s.

Harry comes to a stop outside of the house Louis knows to be his; he turns back to Louis and smiles. “I’m not scary,” he whispers, pulling Louis closer. 

“Let me rephrase that” Louis says thoughtfully. “I’m only scared when it comes to the possibility of losing you.”

“Lou,” Harry says sadly, bringing his hand up to Louis' face and stroking his thumb over Louis' cheek. “I’m never leaving you, you’re going to be so sick of me that you’ll end up leaving me, okay?”

Louis shakes his head, “Not even possible, darling.”

Harry grins and leans forward letting Louis wrap his arms around his waist. Harry brings his lips toward Louis' as he runs his hand through Louis hair. They both smile as soon as their lips touch, Harry always thought it would be embarrassing to smile or laugh while kissing, or at least that’s what Eric had told him once. But, it’s amazing, it’s just so intimate and Harry honestly doesn’t think he could like Louis anymore that he does like this. 

“Hey, lover boy,” someone calls out bringing them both out of their daze. Louis looks up and sees Gemma standing in the doorway of the house leaning against the frame of the door smirking. Louis blushes as he walks toward the door, his hand tight in Harry’s. 

“Hi,” Louis smiles toward Gemma. “I’m Louis.”

“Oh trust me, I know,” she grins looking to Harry slightly. “Good start, honestly, letting the big sister find you swapping saliva in the front garden. Ten out of ten, mate,” she winks at them before carrying herself back to what Louis knows to be the kitchen. 

Louis lets out a deep breath. “Bloody hell,” he brings his hand to Harry’s shoulder and leans on him slightly. “Thought it was easy,” he huffs.

“She’s just trying to scare you,” Harry smiles. “She thinks it’s some kind of game, she couldn’t do it with Eric, ‘cause we’d all known each other since we were kids so I guess she’s really taking advantage of it now. Worked though I guess,” he laughs and walks off toward the kitchen leaving Louis in the hallway to compose himself. 

Louis shuts the front door and walks in the same direction that Harry and Gemma had gone. He walks into the kitchen hesitantly and sees Harry is over hugging his mum. He looks toward Gemma and sees her smiling over her mug, and sends her a quick smile and a glare and hopes she understand, but by the laugh she lets out he knows she does. 

The man in the corner of the room who Louis assumes to be Harry’ step-dad walks toward Louis with his hand extended. “Hi, nice to meet you,” he smiles shaking Louis' hand. “I’m Robin, I’ve heard only good things.”

“Hi, I’m Louis,” he smiles, at ease once more. He glances behind Robin slightly and sees Harry standing with his mum, grinning at the two of them. “Thanks for having me.”

Anne then walks toward him holding her arms out, her eyes watering slightly. “Hello again,” she whispers in his ear while she’s hugging him.

“Alright?” he says and she sniffs into his shoulder. “Don’t cry, or I’ll cry.”

He feels her smiling into his shoulder. “Just wish I could should you how much I appreciate all you’ve done, he’s so happy.”

“He deserves it,” Louis whispers. “Just seeing him like that is reward enough, if I’m honest with you.”

Anne pulls back out of the hug and pats his cheek gently. “This is Gemma, Harry’s sister,” she says, gesturing toward Gemma. 

“Oh I’ve—” Louis begins but is cut off by Gemma speaking. 

“Already met him while he was snogging our H on the front lawn, Mum,” she grins. “Now what would the neighbours say?”

“Honesty Gemma, leave the poor boy alone,” Anne laughs. “Who cares what the neighbours think anyway? All I care is that Harry is happy.”

Gemma rolls her eyes and grabs more mugs from the cupboard. “I was joking, mother,” she mutters quietly to herself, but Anne seems to hear her as she lets out a humph. “Harry’s better off than before anyway, so of course I’m happy for him.”

“I’ll second that,” Robin says from where he is now standing next to Anne, with his hand placed around her hip. “Anyone who makes H happy is welcome here,” he says as he presses a kiss to the side of Anne’s head. 

Both Gemma and Harry make retching faces. “Honestly, you wouldn’t think that you two were adults,” Anne, says rolling her eyes. “Do you see what I have to put up with?” she questions turning to Louis. 

“I wouldn’t mind so much,” Louis grins wrapping his arm around Harry’s waist.

Anne catches the gesture and smiles. “No, I suppose I don’t.”

“Right, enough of _that_ ,” Gemma says. “Who wants a cuppa?”

***

After everyone finishes cup of tea and chat with _Pointless_ playing lowly in the background, Harry gets up and tells his mum that he'll cook dinner. He walks toward the kitchen, looking behind him to find Louis following him reaching his hands out. Harry grins and takes Louis' hands into his own, before bringing them to wrap around his waist. 

They get into the kitchen and Harry sets about getting out all the ingredients for the meal, Louis stands in the corner watching hesitantly. He gets bored after a moment and walks toward Harry and wraps his arms around his waist again kissing the spot behind his ear three times. 

"Go and occupy yourself with something," Harry tells Louis, waving his hand in the direction of the kitchen door. "I'm going to cook tea, and you're going to go somewhere else and be less distracting."

Louis pouts his lips and grabs Harry's hand, pulling Harry closer to him. "But, Harold, that isn't fair at all," he says. "You know I like watching you cook, don't be a meanie." 

"You're so annoying," Harry jokes rolling his eyes. Louis brings Harry's hand up to his lips and kisses it, once, twice and again before letting it fall back down to Harry's side. 

"Fine," he says dramatically walking toward the door. "If you really don't want me here, I guess I'll just go."

Harry raises his eyebrows with a smirk on his face and waves his hand slightly every time Louis turns around with a pout still etched upon his face. 

Louis gets to the doorway before turning around abruptly and storming back to Harry's side. "No," he pouts. "I'm not leaving, I'm staying right here," he says perching himself on one of the chairs by the counter. 

"Mum," Harry whines to Anne who is sat in the lounge. "Louis is being annoying."

"Ignore him, Anne," Louis shouts glaring at Harry. "He's delusional, he has no idea what he's saying."

"But—" Louis placed his hand over Harry's mouth. 

"If you let me watch, I'll blow you tonight," Louis whispers into Harry's ear. 

Harry turns around grinning and removes the hand from his mouth. "In my childhood bedroom? Scandalous," he laughs, nodding his head. He presses a chaste kiss to Louis' mouth before turning back toward the doorway calling into the lounge. "Louis is right, Mum, I'm delusional, ignore me." Harry turns back to wink at Louis before finishing getting out the ingredients.

Louis stays sat down as Harry cooks the food, only occasionally bugging him to ask him questions. After a while of sitting in silence, he gets a bit bored so he gets his phone out. He tries once again to beat Zayn's high score on an app, but after half an hour trying he gives up and decides to text Zayn instead.

_you're such a wanker, still can't beat your score on sky burger, the game is a piece of shit anyway don't know why you bother playing it. hope you're having a good time in the land of the green, see you soon babe x x_

He smiles to himself then sends another one straight after. 

_dont try and outdrink ni's family, you wont win, you lightweight_

He laughs to himself before looking over to Harry, who is smiling at him, so he blows Harry a kiss and gets up to place himself behind him. He wraps his arms around Harry's waist and stands on his tiptoes so he can perch his head on Harry's shoulder.

"What you doing now, babe?" he asks and presses a kiss behind Harry's ear. 

Harry shivers and leans back more into Louis' body, closing his eyes and sighing. "Making the mash for the top of the shepherd's pie."

"We're having shepherd's pie?" he grins. "My mum makes a mean shepherd's pie, nothing will ever compare, sorry darling."

"Just wait and see babe, it'll be a riot, everyone loves my pie."

Louis raises his eyebrows as Harry bends down to put the pie in the oven, he stands back up and turns around to face Louis. 

"Now I'm all yours," he smiles pressing a kiss to the corner of Louis' mouth. 

"Oh great," Louis mutters sarcastically, but cringes when Harry slaps his arm.

"Be nice, I'm making you dinner," he says. "Proper domestic boyfriend and all, appreciate me."

Louis laughs and leans forward and capturing Harry's lips in his own. He kisses him lightly as he brings up his hands to place on Harry's hips. "How long does it take to cook?"

"Around 30 minutes," Harry shrugs. 

"I bet I could blow you in 10, less than that maybe," he says, looking at Harry's eyes that have gone darker and slightly glazed over already. 

Harry nods his head frantically, getting up and walking toward the door where he grabs Louis' hand and pulls him behind him. 

"Dinner is in the oven Mum, I'm just going to go and show Louis my, uh, my trophies from school." Harry stutters, elbowing Louis who won't stop giggling. 

They run up the stairs, racing each other, Harry is winning until they get to the top of the stairs and Louis pulls on the back of his top so hard that he pulls Harry to the floor. Louis steps over Harry and runs into his bedroom before jumping on the bed.

Harry pouts as he lifts himself off the floor. "You're horrible, I don't know why I put up with you."

"Because I am about to give you an amazing blow job?" Louis grins.

"Maybe," Harry laughs. "We'll see how good these blow jobs of yours are first."

Standing up, Louis walks over and grabs Harry around the waist pulling him against his chest. "You're going to be like putty in my hands, babe."

He leans up and kisses Harry on each corner of his mouth before pressing their lips together. He kicks the door closed and walks Harry over to the bed without disconnecting their lips where he pushes Harry back against the bed. Harry bounces against the bed grinning and then whines at Louis for stopping kissing him, pouting his lips out. 

"Alright, alright, needy," Louis laughs. "I'm just thinking, I'm about to blow you in the room where 16 year old Harry probably wanked every day, mental that is. Think of how far you've come, babe."

"Stop talking nonsense and kiss me," Harry pouts. Louis grins and moves to lie down on top of Harry almost completely covering Harry's body with his own as he kisses him leisurely. Louis brings his hands up and runs them through Harry's hair while Harry traces patterns on Louis' back with his fingers, sending shivers down Louis' spine. "Don't stop." Harry says against his lips and Louis grins, resuming running his fingers through Harry's hair. 

"You're lovely," Louis tells him, leaning away from Harry's mouth and looking over his face. 

Harry grins, his dimples on full display. "I really like you, like really, a lot."

"Really, a lot?" Louis laughs. "I'll take that."

Harry smiles and brushes some of Louis' hair behind his ear, "Can't believe you're here."

"Well I am here," he says, kissing Harry on the tip of his nose. "And I'm not about to go anywhere."

Harry lets out a loud laugh and kisses Louis once more. "Okay," he says. "How do you want me?"

"Fuck," Louis breathes. "I, uh, however you want, babe."

Harry leans back against the pillows and takes off his jeans first, and then his t-shirt, he leans down to slip his boxers down but he is interrupted by Louis. "No, I want to do those."

Harry moves his hands away and smiles at Louis, raising his eyebrows a few times. Louis laughs and leans over Harry so that their noses are touching. "You sure you want this, sweetheart?" Louis asks. "We can still wait if you want."

"We've waited long enough, now _please_ just blow me, I don't care, do anything," Harry whines arching his hips. 

"Alright needy, chill out," Louis smiles before moving lower down Harry's body. He palms Harry through his boxers first, he looks up at Harry's face and sees that his eyes are closed and he smiles. 

Louis continues palming Harry through his boxers until there is a spot of pre-come evident on his boxers. Harry whines, arching his back slightly. "Baby, _please_ , just please do something," he whimpers. 

Grinning, Louis pulls down Harry's boxers so that his cock bobs against his stomach, hard and red. Leaning down, Louis licks a long stripe all the way up the shaft of his cock. Harry whimpers, gripping the bed sheets tighter in his hand. Louis licks Harry's cock a few more times just to tease him before he takes all of Harry into his mouth, licking the underneath of his cock as he does. 

"Shit, fuck," Harry breathes. "Babe, _fuck_ , don't stop." Harry presses his hand into Louis' hair and pushes him further down on his cock, so much so that Louis chokes slightly.

" _Fuck_ ," Harry whimpers. Louis smiles, slightly inspired and chokes himself down on Harry's cock a few more times before Harry is arching his back and scraping his hands against the bed sheets. "Not going to last," he whispers. Louis brings himself off Harry's cock and brings his hand up to wank Harry while he licks at the tip a few times. 

After a few minutes, Harry is mumbling words that Louis can't understand and his thighs are shaking. Louis once again takes his cock into his mouth and sucks him through his orgasm. 

"Shit," Harry breathes heavily, looking down to Louis who still has his mouth wrapped around his cock. "Hurts," he whines, pushing Louis' head away gently. 

"Sorry, love," Louis grins, leaning back up to kiss Harry, he then leans back and looks at the watch on his wrist. "Around seven minutes, babe, you flatter me."

Harry brings his arm up to rest over his eyes while he laughs. Louis lays himself down next to Harry and cuddles into Harry's side while Harry pulls the blanket around them.

"That was lovely, thank you," Harry says, kissing Louis' cheek. 

Louis laughs and buries his head into Harry's shoulder. "Did you really just tell me that blow job was lovely? Dear God, who even are you?" he laughs loudly. 

"Shh," Harry whispers. "We have around twenty minutes before dinner, and I want to cuddle so stop making fun of me."

"Okay, darling," Louis says, pressing a kiss into Harry's chest. "But you're going to need to get dressed, don't know how much your family will appreciate you serving them dinner in the nude."

Harry rolls his eyes and places his hand over Louis' mouth. "Shh," he repeats. "Quiet time."

“I can’t believe we just had sex in your childhood bedroom,” Louis comments, laughing slightly. 

Harry tilts his head toward Louis and purses his lips. “Do you count blow jobs as sex then?”

“Of course,” Louis says. “I touched your dick, I made you come, in my eyes that constitutes sex.”

“Hm,” Harry ponders. “I’ve just always thought sex was just penetration. At least with Eric like, we never said we’d lost our virginities until we’d had penetrative sex.”

Louis kisses Harry’s shoulder once before breathing out against it, making the hairs on Harry’s arms stand up. “I guess it is a form of intimacy, so to me it is sex,” Louis mutters against his skin. “You could tell me here and now that you never want penetrative sex with me and I’d be okay with it because we could still have sex in other ways, do you get what I’m saying?” 

“Yeah,” Harry smiles and leans down and tilts Louis' chin up before planting a kiss on the corner of Louis' mouth. 

“For me sex is just about intimacy, whether that’s us rubbing off against each other fully clothed, or being completely naked and putting our dicks in each other.” Louis giggles kissing Harry’s shoulder once more and he only stops when Harry swats his arm.

“Crude,” Harry comments. “I’d never thought about it like that before, I guess before sex was either all or nothing. Eric didn’t really have much time for small acts of intimacy.” Harry furrows his eyebrows and looks down at where Louis is drawing patterns on his stomach. “Eric just didn’t like me enough to want anything other than a mouth to give him a blow job or a fucking hole to stick his dick.”

Louis reaches to grab Harry’s hand and holds it tightly when Harry sniffs. “I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, Eric was stupid to not appreciate you,” he brings Harry’s hand up and kisses his knuckles. “I’m all in baby, whether you want penetrative sex or not, or even whether you want any form of intimacy or not. I’m just here for you.” 

“Thank you,” Harry smiles. “You always know what to say.”

“I just love you so much,” Louis whispers, as if it’s their little secret. “I want to spend every second of my life reminding you how amazing you are, and I don’t need to have any form of sex with you to know this. I know it from just having one conversation with you. You’re incredible.” 

Harry blushes and tries to hide his face, but before he can Louis reaches under his chin and tilts it up to connect their lips. “You’re my favourite person,” Harry says against Louis' lips.

Louis smiles and kisses Harry once more before settling down against his side and relaxing before they have to eat their food.

***

They lay down next to each other for longer than twenty minutes. Louis tries to bag more time but Harry is insistent that he does not want his food to burn because of Louis. 

"We can cuddle after dinner," Harry says, kissing Louis' hand while pulling him down the stairs. 

"Whatever you say, sweetcheeks." Harry turns to face him when they're halfway down the steps and he grins widely before pressing a kiss to Louis' mouth, then he runs ahead of him into the kitchen. 

Louis rolls his eyes but follows slowly, "Babe, food better be ready when I get in there," he says as he walks toward the kitchen. "My stomach is rumbling, but it smells amazing, maybe even better than my mum’s which is saying something."

He walks into the kitchen and sees Anne sat on the stools with another woman sat by her, the pie out cooling on the side. Harry stands frozen in his place just past the doorway. Louis walks closer to Harry and grabs his hand, "H, you okay?"

Harry turns around in his place and buries his head in Louis' chest, shaking his head at the same time. Louis furrows his eyebrows as he brings up his hand and strokes it through Harry's hair. He looks to Anne and raises his eyebrows in question. 

"Louis, this is Nicola, Eric’s mum," Anne says, gesturing to the other woman in the room who looks extremely uncomfortable. Understanding passes over Louis and he widens his eyes and looks down to Harry who is trembling in his arms.

"Nice to meet you," he smiles at Nicola. "Babe, why don't we go out into the hall for a minute?" he whispers quietly to Harry. He nods his head against Louis' chest and grabs his hand, dragging Louis out of the room.

Harry lets out a long breath when he leaves the room, Louis looks at him worriedly before taking him into his arms again. "You alright?" he questions.

"Dunno," Harry admits. "Thought I was doing really well, up until now."

"You are doing well," Louis says, gently brushing Harry's hair out of his face. 

Harry smiles at him and kisses his cheek before looking down at his feet nervously. "You think?" he asks.

"I know you are, darling," Louis tells him lifting his chin up slightly. "I'm so proud of you."

Leaning down slightly, Harry smiles and presses a kiss to Louis' lips before he pulls back and then presses another kiss to the corner of Louis' mouth. "I'm lucky to have you."

"Other way around, I think," Louis says shaking his head. 

"I don't know why she scares me, but she does," Harry admits burying his head back into Louis' chest. "Usually whenever I see her, Eric isn't too far behind."

"He's not here," Louis whispers against the top of Harry's head as he places a kiss there. "You're doing so well, sweetheart. Who cares if you have a little slip up? As long as you pick yourself back up from it, you're doing brilliantly, I promise you. Eric is gone, and he's not coming back, you are safe." 

Nodding against his chest, Harry leans against Louis for a little while longer before looking up at Louis. "I feel a bit silly," he admits. "Can't even face his mum."

"Whatever you feel is normal. Not that I know what is normal or anything, but I've done some research and it's normal for you to feel nervous or scared around things that trigger memories of the person." Louis explains, stroking his fingers through Harry's hair. 

"You're amazing," Harry tells him, looking up at him with his eyes twinkling. 

"No," Louis says, shaking his head. "It's all you, my darling," he says, poking Harry's nose lightly. 

Harry scrunches up his nose and grabs Louis finger pressing a light kiss to it before just holding it in his hand. "Wouldn't be able to do this without you," he admits. 

"You would," Louis says smiling. "Because you're brilliant and you can do anything on your own. You just need confidence in yourself because you're the best person I know. You don't need me, or anyone else. I'm just here for the ride."

"I'll always need you," Harry whispers, hugging Louis tightly again. Louis looks down at him with wide eyes, wondering whether Harry realises what he actually just said. 

They stand in the hallway wrapped up in each other for a few more minutes before Louis decides that they should go into the kitchen and sort out the food. 

"Come on, love," he says to Harry, pulling his arm slightly. "Let’s go and try this pie, shall we?"

Harry nods his head hesitantly and grips Louis' hand tighter in his own, Louis kisses the side of his head before walking toward the kitchen while Harry trailing behind him. 

"Anne, is it alright if I make myself and H a cuppa?" Louis asks her as he enters the kitchen and walks toward the kettle. 

"That's fine, Lou," Anne says with a smile. 

She looks worriedly at Harry who follows Louis to the kettle and wraps himself around Louis from behind, burying his head into his shoulder. 

"Nic was just here to apologise if that's okay, Harry," Anne tells them. 

"You don't need to apologise," Harry says quietly, turning around to face his mum and Nicola. "Wasn't your fault," he states. 

Louis wraps his hand around Harry's waist kissing the side of his head, Nicola looks at the two smiling. "I am sorry though," Nicola says awkwardly. 

"It's fine, not your fault," Harry repeats. 

"It's not yours either," Nicola tells him seriously. 

Harry nods awkwardly, "I know." Louis smiles and kisses the side of his head twice before finishing making their tea. He then leads Harry over to the other stools for them to sit down. 

"I'm sorry about Eric," Nicola whispers honestly to Harry grabbing his hand and stroking her fingers over Harry's. "I still can't believe he did what he did."

"I'm fine," Harry says, looking down at his and Nicola's hands. 

"No," she smiles sadly. "But you will be," she comments, turning her gaze obviously over to Louis.

Smiling, Harry looks up to Louis and winks. "He's brilliant, I know," Harry grins. Louis rolls his eyes, leaning over to kiss Harry's cheek. 

"Be quiet, you," he whispers in Harry's ear. He picks up his mug and blows on the drink slightly before lifting it to his lips and takes a sip.

"I'm glad you're happy," Nicola comments smiling. 

Harry smiles and grips Louis' hand tighter in his own. "Me too," he smiles and brings Louis' hand up to his mouth and kisses the back of his hand grinning against the skin. 

***

Anne sets up the spare bedroom for Louis to sleep in. Louis doesn't argue, though he does feel reluctant to sleep in a separate room from Harry. He attempts to fall asleep that night after kissing Harry approximately seven times, assuring him that he'll be fine on his own and if not, he knows where Louis is.

After trying and failing to fall asleep for the past hour Louis decides to ring Zayn. 

"Hello?" Zayn whispers answering after the second ring. 

"Hey asshole," Louis smiles. 

Zayn chuckles slightly on the other end, but then goes quiet and murmurs something quietly to who Louis assumes to be Niall. "Princess," Zayn says. "How're you?"

"Good," he says playing with the corner of the duvet. "I'm good, and you? How's Niall's family? As scary as you thought?"

"Not even close, his mum is a darling, his dad is brilliant and his brother and brother's wife are amazing. And don't even get me started on Theo," Zayn tells him. "All I'm saying is I can see why he's got Niall wrapped around his little finger." 

"That's great," Louis chuckles. "I'm glad you're having a good time."

"What about Hazza's family?" Zayn asks him quietly. 

"Amazing," Louis breathes. "Had a little run in with Eric's mum earlier, but he seems to be fine. We haven't seen him anyway, and I hope to God we never do again."

"You won't, babe," Zayn reassures him. "Even if you do, you'll be there for him and so will I, every step of the way, same as Niall and Liam."

"Is Ni sleeping?" Louis asks after hearing a loud noise from the other end of the phone. 

Zayn laughs quietly. "How can you tell? Is it the snoring?"

"How do you cope?" Louis laughs. 

"Because he's Niall," Zayn says quietly. "You can't help but love him, all of him, including the snoring. He does look adorable sleeping, so I can cope with the snoring."

"You're such a sappy fuck," Louis says with a grin. 

"And you're not?" Zayn asks him, and Louis can tell he's smirking like the annoying little shit he is.

"Shh, you," Louis replies. "We need to go out soon, I feel like I haven't seen you in five years."

"It's been six days, princess, don't be needy." Zayn says, letting out a small chuckle. 

"Whatever," Louis says, rolling his eyes even though Zayn can't see. "But I miss you, and we will both be home in like three days, is it? So we can just do something then."

"Miss you too, princess," Zayn comments.

"You're so annoying," Louis huffs. "I'm hanging up now, drinks when I get back, yeah? See you then; don't have too much fun without me, babe."

"I won't be able to survive without you, don't you worry," Zayn mutters sarcastically. Louis rolls his eyes and smacks his lips together to imitate a kiss before hanging up the phone. 

***

Harry himself isn't having any greater luck trying to fall asleep without the reassurance of Louis' warm body beside him. After standing outside Louis' door and listening to his soothing voice speaking to Zayn, he walks back into his own bedroom and lays down on his bed falling into an uneasy sleep. 

He ends up having the same nightmare he's had for the past few weeks. He's standing in his and Louis' flat, waiting for Louis to come home from his classes when the door opens. Harry grins as he hurries towards it, ready to dive into Louis' arms when he sees Eric standing there smirking down at him. Eric grabs his hand and pulls him down the hall into Harry's bedroom. He throws him on the bed, and sits on top of him effectively holding Harry's body down. Eric smiles down at him and leans down for a kiss, before pulling away and hitting Harry once, then twice, then a third time in the jaw. 

Eric runs his hands up and down Harry's sides before punching his chest. "You're worthless, good for fucking nothing," Eric tells him. 

Harry nods his head sobbing, because he _knows_ , he does and he hates himself. 

"Why the fuck does Louis want you? Why would he want to be burdened with a little shit like you?"

All Harry can do is shrug his shoulders because, honestly, he doesn't know. He doesn't know why Louis would even second glance someone like him, someone so damaged and fragile. But he did, and he stuck around and Harry didn't know why. 

"Probably because you suck his dick like a fucking champ," Eric grins wickedly. "If the sex is anything like what ours was, I'm not surprised he's still around, you know how to treat them, don't you H? You'd let anyone fuck your mouth, bet you'd even let me do it again."

Shaking his head frantically Harry feels more tears creep out of his eyes. "No," he whispers. "I won't. I wouldn't do that to Louis."

"You know you're worthless, you _know_ it, so I don't know why you even bother trying to hide it," Eric says sadly. "You're so fucking selfish, you always made everything about you, and even then you didn't care about anything I wanted, all you cared about was yourself. It was always about whether you were in the mood or whether the sex was good for you, you never thought about me. Are you really going to just leave me like this, and not help me? Selfish prick."

No. Harry wouldn't fall for it, not like he did before. Louis told him, it was manipulation and Harry wasn't playing a part in it anymore, he shook his head. "No," he says determinedly. "I'm better than this, I'm better than _you_."

"Your little Louis told you that, did he?" Eric questions and Harry narrows his eyes. "Well, he's fucking wrong, sweetheart. He's just using you he doesn't care about you. Why would he? He just feels sorry for you, because you can't seem to do anything on your own, you always need someone else there and that's why you're vulnerable. You need someone like me, someone to control you."

Harry shakes his head and whimpers, this isn't what he wanted. Louis _loved_ him, he told him that, he wouldn't lie, would he? But Eric also said he loved him, and Eric lied. What really was the difference?

"There's no point denying it, babe, we both know you'll coming running back to me one day," Eric sighs. 

"No," Harry says defiantly. "I don't need you, I don't need anyone to control me."

Eric laughs and runs his hands down Harry's arm and Harry shudders shaking his head, sobbing wildly.

Suddenly he opens his eyes and sees that he's back in his own childhood bedroom, and he realises that he is at home and he is safe. He brings his hand shakily up to his face and wipes down his face, breathing out a sigh of relief before feeling tears on his cheek and realising that he'd been crying in his sleep. 

He gets up on shaky legs and walks downstairs, stumbling slightly as he does. He goes into the kitchen and gets out a mug from the cabinet before he flicks the switch on the kettle. He grabs the mug but then hears a noise from upstairs, in his terrified mind-state he drops the mug.  He whimpers before walking briskly into the lounge burrowing himself into the sofa. 

He grabs his phone from where he'd left it on the side the night before and rings the first person he thinks of. 

"What the fuck, Harold? It's four in the morning," the voice grumbles croakily, obviously just having been woken up from sleep. 

"Nick," Harry breathes shakily. 

"You okay? What's wrong?" Nick hurriedly asks, now sounding more awake. 

"I can't get away, Nick," Harry sobs. "He's everywhere, I can feel his hands on me all the time."

"Babe, just breathe okay? You're safe, you don't have to see him anymore," Nick tells him. 

"You were right," Harry comments sadly. "You were right about everything, I'm sorry I didn't listen."

"I don't care about being right, that doesn't matter. If anything, I wish I wasn't right, I wish so badly that I was wrong," Nick sighs. "Babe, where's Louis?"

"Dunno," Harry shrugs. "In his room, I think."

"Why don't you go and get him for me?" Nick asks kindly. 

Harry shakes his head despite the fact Nick can't see him. 

"Don't want him to see me like this," he admits. "Do you think he loves me?"

"You mad, Styles?" Nick laughs. "Of course he fucking does. Why?"

"No reason," Harry shrugs. "Just panicking myself for no reason, I guess, it's stupid."

"It's not stupid," Nick says. "Nothing about this is stupid."

"I dream about him touching me, telling me what a piece of shit I am, telling me Louis doesn't love me, that he just feels sorry for me," Harry admits. 

"Babe," Nick breathes. "Louis loves you so much, if you'd go and get him I'm sure he would tell you himself. Eric doesn't matter, okay? Everything he said to you was a lie; you're amazing, one of the best people I know. Please, just don't put yourself down because some asshole thinks you’re not good enough, when you're ten times better than he'll ever be."

Harry lets out a shaky breath, remaining quiet for a few minutes. 

"H, why don't you go and wake Louis?" Nick asks him again. 

"I don't want to touch anyone right now, especially not Louis when I feel so disgusting," he sighs. 

"Go and have a shower then, go and shower for however long you want then you can cuddle up to Louis for the rest of the day."

"I don't think any amount of showering will wash away how disgusting I feel from just letting him touch me," Harry sighs. "I can feel his hands on me right now, it makes me feel sick, every second of the day."

"You're okay," Nick reassures him. "He's never going to touch you ever again."

"I still have a scar from when he pushed me into the chest of drawers," Harry comments, but he doesn't even know why he's telling Nick this. "It's like a big line reminding me of how stupid I am."

"That scar just shows how strong you are, yeah?" Nick tells him. "How you are so strong for being able to recover and everything you do is great, nothing is stupid."

"I just feel so needy and pathetic all the time, I don't know how anyone puts up with me," Harry admits sadly.  

"I do it because I'm in love with you." Harry hears from behind him and he turns around and sees Louis standing leaning against the doorway. "You're not needy or pathetic and being with you isn't putting up with you, I love being with you."

He grabs the phone out of Harry's hands and holds it up to his ear. "Hey, Nick," he says. "Yeah, I got him, don't worry, I'll call you back later, go back to sleep. Thanks for being there, speak to you soon, bye."

"Me and you are going out," Louis says, turning to Harry and handing him a coat.

"I don't want to go out," Harry sniffs. 

"Baby," Louis says walking forward and taking Harry's hands in his own. "I promise this will make you feel better. No more pesky thoughts about him, okay? Just me and you, darling."

Harry nods his head hesitantly, grabbing the coat even though it's summer and warm outside. He puts it on, smiling down at Louis. 

"I love you," Louis tells him, kissing his nose. 

"I know," Harry says, nodding his head. "I'm working on it."

"I don't care, sweetheart, as long as you know I'm always here, that's all I need." 

Harry had told Louis he loved him but it was in the friendlier ‘love you’ way, he hadn’t yet said ‘I’m in love with you’, but Louis didn’t mind. Harry grins softly and leans forward to press their lips together, hoping to show Louis just how much he cares about him. When he pulls back and sees Louis grinning widely with crinkles by his eyes, he thinks he just might've done it. He really hopes Louis understands, because honestly, he is one of the best people Harry has ever met and he deserves the world, if Harry could give it to him.

***

Once they exit the house quietly, trying their hardest not to wake anyone up, they walk down the street hand in hand. Harry notices that it's still dark and cringes feeling bad for waking Louis up at this time. 

"Baby," Louis sighs. "You're fine, stop worrying." Louis tells him bringing up their intertwined hands to hip lips and kissing the back of Harry's hand. "You might have to take charge here, I have no idea where I'm going."

Harry chuckles and tugs Louis' hand down a street of houses before leading them through a small walkway toward a path that leads to a field. 

"Hey, Harry?" Louis says. "Reckon you could give me a piggyback there? I seem to have lost feeling in my legs."

Harry rolls his eyes, but turns around and gestures for Louis to jump on his back. Once Louis is on his back safely with his legs wrapped firmly around Harry's waist, he places a wet kiss on Harry's cheek whispering a thanks in his ear.  

He walks them both toward a bunch of trees on the other side of the field, occasionally looking back to Louis and smiling. 

When they get to the trees, Harry places Louis down on the floor and then sits beside him with both of their backs leaning back against the tree. Harry intertwines their fingers and strokes his thumb over the back of Louis' hand for a while, leaning down to place his head on Louis' shoulder. 

"You know," he begins. "I had my first kiss against this tree."

"Really?" Louis comments stiffly. 

"Don't be jealous, babe," Harry chuckles. "Didn't even know you then. Her name was Lucy and we were like eleven and pressured by our friends. It wasn't anything too magical, don't you worry."

"Good," Louis says kissing the top of Harry's head. "I'm almost tempted to press you up against the tree and kiss you so much so that whenever you see this tree you think of me and not _Lucy_ ," Louis says scrunching up his nose. 

"Go mental," Harry grins, bringing his head off Louis' shoulder to look him in the eyes. 

Louis smiles and leans forward to connect their lips, sighing happily when he feels Harry's lips on his own. "I would," he tells Harry pulling away from him. "But we need to talk, sweetheart. I know you don't want to, but we need to." Harry pouts his lips and furrows his brow slightly so Louis leans forward once more and places a last kiss on Harry's lips.

"What was your dream about?" Louis asks gently running his hands through Harry's hair. 

Harry shrugs his shoulders, looking down at the floor and frowning. "Dunno," he mutters. "Same as always, I guess."

"Darling," Louis sighs. "I'm trying to help you."

"Don't need help," Harry says pushing Louis' hand off his hair and moving away from him slightly.

Louis sighs and frowns; he hates that he has to do this, but he _needs_ to, otherwise Harry will just close himself off and things won't be okay in the end. Louis needs more than anything to be able to help Harry, because looking at him now, Louis feels like an arse for making him feel so uncomfortable, but he just kept the belief that this was for the best. 

"I know you don't want to talk, I know even the thought of him makes your skin crawl, it does the same to me. But," Louis sighs. "If we don't talk what's going to happen then? We'll be stuck, because you will close yourself off and not let anyone help you, and I'll end up hating myself for not being able to help you."

Harry looks down at his lap where his fingers are wrapped around the bottom of his t-shirt, desperately trying to distract him from the tears threatening to fall from his eyes. 

"I'm so in love with you," Louis admits. "It scares me, you know? From the moment I first saw you I knew you were something special, and now here I am actually able to call myself your boyfriend,” he grins. “You know, part of being in love is that the person should be able to help you when you need it. Love means that you're not supposed to be afraid of the other person seeing you as weak because you know that they'll love you anyway." 

Harry looks up at Louis carefully, before reaching out his hand and running it gently down Louis' cheek. 

"That's me, baby. I'm that person who you can bare your soul to without being frightened of the consequences." Louis smiles placing his hand over Harry's on his cheek. "I'm in way too deep to ever want to be without you, so don't even think for a moment that some pesky thoughts about a stupid boy will drive me away. I'll be here however long you'll have me, okay?"

"Okay," Harry agrees nodding his head and sniffing slightly. He leans forward and buries his head into Louis shoulder, balling his fists into Louis' t-shirt and holding on tightly. "I love you," he whispers against Louis' neck. 

"Fuck, _shit_ ," Louis gasps, pulling Harry out from his neck and looking at him wide eyed. "Really? Like seriously? I don't mind if you don't, I've told you before, darling. You don't have to say it just because you think it'll please me."

Harry smiles and nods his head, brushing some of Louis' hair behind his ear. 

"Really, I'm in love with you," he grins widely. "So in love, think I have been the whole time, just haven't had the balls to say it without being certain. But, now I'm sure. I'm in love with you, Louis Tomlinson."

Louis laughs slightly and dives forward into Harry's arms, kissing both of his cheeks and his nose before capturing his lips in a kiss. 

"Jesus," he says against Harry's lips. "I'm so in love with you, and I'll never get tired of saying it." 

He leans forward and kisses Harry a few more times, both of them laughing against each other's lips, grinning and their teeth clashing together. It's probably the worst kiss they've ever had, but Louis doesn't care because Harry _loves_ him, and he doesn't think his life could get any better. 

"So," Louis says pulling away from Harry slightly. "This dream, what happened?"

Harry sighs frowning at Louis slightly. "I'm in the flat waiting for you, but he comes instead, takes me to the room. He beats me up, tells me I'm a piece of shit, then he goes to _you know_ but I wake up before he can do anything."

"Sweetheart, that's not a stupid dream at all." Louis breathes, curling Harry's hair around his finger. "What does he say?"

"Not a lot," Harry shrugs. "He tells me that I'm worthless, and he uses what I like against me. I know I'm a bit weird when it comes to sex and I like having someone control me and tell me what to do. It makes me feel a bit safer, but he calls me a slut because of it, and I'm not a slut, Louis, I'm _not_."

"Hey, what you like isn't weird," Louis soothes, pulling Harry toward him so that Harry can bury his head into Louis' chest. "I know you're not, sweetheart. I know we haven't done barely anything intimate together but I know you're not a slut, okay? You know you're not as well, so don't even worry about what he tells you in your mind."

"It's hard, I know he's not actually real, but it feels so real the way he manipulates me to agree with him, it's scary," Harry shivers. "He also tells me that you feel sorry for me, that you don't love me."

Louis angles his head down and presses a long kiss to Harry's hair. 

"He's so wrong," Louis whispers. 

"That's what Nick said," Harry smiles, turning his head more into Louis' chest. "Nice to hear it from you as well."

"Having these nightmares doesn't make you weak, you know," Louis tells him. "I mean, they're not good, and next time you have one I want you to come to me, okay? I don't care what time it is, I want you to come and find me or ring me if I'm not there with you."

Harry nods his head against Louis' chest. "Thank you," he whispers kissing Louis' chest through his t-shirt. 

"You don't need to thank me," Louis says running his hand down Harry's back. "I'll always be here for you whether you like it or not."

"Love it," Harry whispers. 

Louis smiles and looks out from behind the trees toward the sky. He sees that the sun is beginning to rise and he checks his watch on his wrist and sees that it is nearing 5 am. "Darling," he says nudging Harry. "We should start heading back before your mum gets worried."

"No," Harry mumbles tiredly. "Just sleep, it's fine."

Louis rolls his eyes and kisses Harry on the forehead. "If you get up now, I'll give you a piggyback so long as you direct me the way."

Harry opens his eyes and grins, he leans back and allows Louis to get up before holding his arms up in a gesture for Louis to help him. Louis drags him up and once he has him positioned on his back he walks back across the field. 

"Which way now, you great lump?" Louis asks Harry when they come to the lane leading back toward the streets. 

When he gets no response from Harry he looks behind him and sees Harry is asleep with his head rested on Louis shoulder. Louis smiles slightly before trying to remember which way looks somewhat familiar. Eventually he finds his way back to Harry's house and opens the door quietly before creeping into Harry's room and setting Harry against the bed. Once Harry is lying down, Louis stretches slightly before climbing in behind him, wrapping his arms around Harry's waist and laying the blanket over both of them. He kisses Harry's cheek and intertwines their fingers before falling asleep himself.

***

They head back to their flat on the train after spending another three days with Harry’s family. Louis loved it, Harry’s family were amazing and he loved that he got the chance to see that side of Harry that he’d never seen before. Anne had even let them sleep together after discovering the two of them curled around each other the morning after their adventure. 

It was amazing. But, everything to do with Harry is amazing, like the way he’s curled around Louis, practically sitting on his lap despite the fact that they have two seats on the train. 

Harry smiles into Louis' neck and kisses the part of his neck where his head was buried. “Love you,” he mumbles tiredly, before he wiggles his head to get comfy and closes his eyes. 

“I love you, too,” Louis grins, leaning down and kissing the top of Harry’s head. 

Harry sleeps for the rest of the journey and Louis spends his time alternating between looking down at Harry and looking out of the window while listening to his music. 

Once they reach their destination Louis nudges Harry awake and grabs his hand. He pulls Harry off the train before he grabs both of their backpacks and puts one on each shoulder. 

“I can carry mine,” Harry protests and reaching out his hand. 

Louis shook his head smiling. “It’s not far, babe. I’ve got it, you just look pretty.”

Harry grins, and kisses Louis gently on the mouth before pulling away and taking Louis' hand in his own, walking toward their flat. 

“Are you going out with Zayn tonight?” Harry asks. 

“Don’t know,” Louis shrugs his shoulders. “Depends what you want to do.”

“Ni texted me something about having a night with him and Liam tonight, you could come if you want,” Harry tells him. 

Louis shakes his head slightly and wraps his arm around Harry’s waist. “You’ll be fine on your own, darling. Me and Z will have an ace night, and so will you and the boys. I’ll talk to Zayn and we might pop in after, but I’ll let you know.”

“Whatever you want to do is fine,” Harry grins. “But please can you be back by the time I want to sleep?”

“Okay,” Louis says kissing Harry’s cheek. 

They get back to the flat in no time at all, Louis walks up the steps and opens the door to find Zayn standing there with a ‘welcome home’ banner behind him, holding a tray of finger sandwiches. 

Louis grins and drops the bags off his shoulder, moving quickly toward Zayn, who puts the tray down, and throws himself at him. “You’re such an arse,” Louis laughs against Zayn’s shoulder. 

“Hope this makes up for last time, princess,” Zayn chuckles, before leaning out of the hug and kissing Louis' cheek. 

“I’ve missed your face,” Louis says. “Jesus, did your cheekbones get even better since the last time I saw you?”

Zayn grins, his eyes crinkling as he shrugs his shoulders. “All part of the package.”

“I’ll congratulate your mum and dad next time I see them,” Louis jokes. 

“Please do,” Zayn laughs. “I’d pay to see that.”

“Well done on your face,” Louis grins leaning up to pat Zayn on the cheek.

Niall slips his arm around Zayn’s waist and peeks his head over his shoulder. 

“Hands off Tommo,” he smiles. “This face is mine to admire.” 

“I didn’t even see you,” Louis grins and holds his arms out and pulls Niall into a hug. “Missed you, too,” he whispers in Niall’s ear. 

“When did we all get so dependent on each other?” Harry asks grinning from where he is still standing in the doorway. 

“When I decided that we are all soulmates and can’t live without each other,” Liam shouts from the kitchen, before walking out with a pot of tea and five mugs. “Welcome home, guys,” he grins putting down the tray and catching both Harry and Louis in a hug.

“Fuck,” Louis breathes chuckling. “All reunited once more.”

“Get used to it, princess, we’re all moving in together in two weeks,” Zayn says smiling. 

“Are you serious?” Harry asks. 

“Surprise,” Niall chuckles. “Landlord called us this morning and said we can move in early if we want.”

Louis screams before diving on top of Niall, Zayn laughs clutching his stomach. He looks down at his boyfriend and his best friend grinning, before he joins them on the floor.  Liam and Harry exchange a smile before shrugging their shoulders and piling on top of the group, all of them giggling and hugging each other tightly.

“This calls for a celebration,” Louis smiles as he extracts himself from the pile. “Drinks tonight, who’s in?”

Everyone cheers before placing themselves down on the sofa despite there being other sofas in the room; they squish together on the same sofa. 

***

They end up in some grubby club they found down a side street where the entry was dirt-cheap. The club itself has different sections, so Zayn and Louis decide to go off into one of the quieter ones to catch up while the other boys head straight for the bar. 

“You’re disgusting,” Zayn comments after Louis kisses Harry goodbye. 

“Fuck off,” Louis says. “Have you forgot what you and Ni were like when you first started dating, you forgot my existence, remember?”

Zayn holds his hands up chuckling. 

“Now that is true,” he comments. 

“I just want to make sure he knows I’m there, you know?” Louis sighs looking back towards the entry Harry just left through.

“How’s he doing?” Zayn asks. “Niall’s been worried sick, but obviously any time he asks Harry all he gets is Harry just saying he’s okay and not to worry.”

Louis shrugs his shoulders looking down at the seat. “I don’t know, I found him on the phone to Nick that night I spoke to you, _God_ he was saying these things and—”

“It’s okay,” Zayn says reaching his hand over to take Louis' hand in his own.

“I just don’t want him to _ever_ feel that way,” Louis sighs. “But, I can’t stop it, he’s still hurting and there’s nothing I can do.”

“Nothing you can do?” Zayn scoffs rolling his eyes. “You don’t think your presence just helps him? God you’re so stupid sometimes I can’t handle it, think about it, Lou, you’re there for him any time of the day, you don’t think the reassurance of having a support system helps him?”

“I guess,” Louis shrugs. “I just don’t know how to be in this situation.”

Zayn smiles slightly and brings his arm across the back of the chair to run through Louis' hair. “None of us do, princess.”

“I’ve missed that, _princess_ ,” Louis says smiling. “Still fucking hate it though.”

“I think you just missed me, princess,” Zayn grins bringing himself closer to Louis. “It’s extremely flattering for my ego.”

Louis laughs loudly before looking back towards the door in time to see all the boys walking back with drinks in their hands. 

“Got you one,” Harry says to Louis as he sits down beside him.

“Thanks, sweetheart,” Louis grins kissing Harry’s cheek and taking a sip of his drink. 

“We’re gonna get shots later, it’s 2 for 1 on all shots, so we’re going to buy a bunch and do loads each yeah?” Niall grins leaning into Zayn. 

Zayn giggles into his shoulder and kisses his neck. “Whatever you want babe,” he smiles winking over to Louis.

“I’m going to die,” Louis groans. “Shots get me hammered.”

“Exactly why you should do like twenty,” Niall smiles downing the rest of his drink.

“Fucking hell,” Liam mutters looking at Niall’s empty glass. “I know you’re Irish but you can fucking drink.”

“Thank you,” Niall smiles holding his hand over his heart. “Right then lads, shots who’s in?” Niall says standing up and clapping his hands together. 

Harry’s hand shoots up and Louis pouts. “Come on, babe,” Harry leans in to whisper into Louis' ear. “I love how handsy you get when you’re drunk.”

“Fucking hell, everyone is against me,” Louis breathes as Harry kisses his earlobe. “Fuck it Ni, get me shots, I just need shots.” Niall grins before walking back towards the bar. 

“There you go,” Harry smiles leaning in and pressing his lips briefly to Louis'.

“Keep it PG, we are in public in case you’ve forgotten,” Zayn mutters into his glass. 

Louis glares over to him and tucks Harry tighter into his side. “I am aware,” he comments. 

“It’s not like you and Ni ever keep it PG,” Harry adds. “Remember when we went for Mexican?”

Zayn groans as Liam and Louis laugh loudly. “I do remember,” Liam grins. “Don’t think the waiter will be forgetting any time soon either.”

“Stop ganging up on me,” Zayn pouts. 

The boys all laugh as Zayn pouts until Niall comes back with a tray loaded with shots. “Why is he in a mood?” Niall asks. “What did you do?” he turns to Louis.

“Me?” Louis asks. “I didn’t do anything.”

“Likely story,” Niall says putting the tray on the table and sitting down next to Zayn. “Harry, what did he do?”

“Nothing,” Harry giggles leaning into Louis' shoulder, running his hands up and down Louis' back underneath his t-shirt. “We were just reliving the Mexican restaurant.”

Niall groans loudly and buries his head into Zayn’s shoulder. “I thought we agreed to never speak of that,” he mutters. 

“Nope,” Liam chuckles. “Well you and Zayn might’ve, but I will be mentioning it at your wedding.”

“I hate you all,” Zayn says. 

“Don’t say that,” Niall scolds hitting Zayn on the arm. “We don’t say such things to our friends.”

“You might not,” Zayn mutters. “But I do.”

Niall rolls his eyes before grabbing shots from the tray and placing one in front of each of the boys. 

“Bottoms up, lads,” he grins knocking back his shot. 

They all down their shots quickly, grimacing at the taste. “Fuck me,” Louis says. “What the hell was that?”

“Dunno,” Niall shrugs. “I got a bunch of different ones and just put them on the tray so who knows what’s what.”

Louis groans grabbing another shot and downing that as well. They continue at that pace for maybe an hour or half an hour, Louis doesn’t know, he can feel his head start to go fuzzy.

“I think I’m a bit tipsy,” he giggles leaning into Harry’s shoulder. 

“Me too, love,” Harry grins kissing Louis' face. “Think everyone might be, we’ve done what? 40 shots between us?”

“Good effort lads,” Niall smiles from where he is perched on Zayn’s lap. 

“My bank balance is going to be dented after this,” Liam groans. 

“Shh,” Harry says placing his finger over Liam’s lip. “Don’t talk about adult stuff.”

Louis chuckles and wraps his arms tighter around Harry, kissing the side of his head. “Yeah Liam, you heard Harry.”

“Your kidney all healed now, Li?” Zayn says sarcastically. 

“Fuck off you guys,” Liam pouts. “I told you, I was told I had no kidney then it had reappeared, who knows what happened.”

“Lies,” Louis laughs. “Like kidneys fucking grow back.”

Harry looks over to Niall before rolling his eyes and gesturing toward the dance floor, Niall grins nodding his head.

“While you children go over the same debate for the sixth time me and Haz are going to dance,” Niall says standing up wobbling slightly and taking Harry’s hand. 

They both stumble towards the dance floor leaning into each other slightly, Louis smiles from where he’s sat looking at Harry giggling. 

“Fuck me, I love him,” Louis says taking a swig of his drink.

“Trust me, mate,” Liam comments. “We can all tell.”

Louis smiles and scoots closer to Zayn and gestures for Liam to come closer to him, they all cuddle up together in the corner of the booth. “I fucking love you guys as well,” Louis grins kissing their cheeks.

“Fucking hell, princess,” Zayn says rolling his eyes. “You’re so drunk.”

“Hazza told me he loved me, he _loves_ me, Liam,” Louis grins turning to Liam. 

“That’s good,” Liam smiles.

“Good? It’s fucking amazing.”

Zayn rolls his eyes but continues stroking his hand through Louis' hair anyway. 

“What about you and Soph? You still good?” Louis asks. 

“Yeah,” Liam grins nodding his head. “Met her family the other week, it’s good.”

“Good,” Louis smiles. “I’m not even going to ask you about Niall,” he mutters turning to Zayn. 

“Princess, me and Niall are—” he stops abruptly. “What the fuck is going on?”

Louis sits up and looks over to where Zayn is looking, he stands up quickly when he sees Harry shaking in Niall’s arms while another guy holds up hands up. 

He walks over there taking Harry from Niall and rubbing his hand soothingly up and down his back. 

“The fuck do you think you’re doing?” Louis glares at the guy. 

“Sorry mate, didn’t realise he was taken,” he says looking down at the floor. “I really am sorry, I didn’t mean to scare him like that.”

Louis sighs looking over to Niall who is just looking sadly at Harry. 

“It’s fine,” Louis says shooing the boy away with his hand. 

“Sorry again,” the guy says before he’s gone back into the crowd. 

“I’m just going to take him outside for some fresh air,” Louis says to Niall. “We’ll probably go home after this.”

“Yeah,” Niall says patting Louis on the back. “I’ll go and let the guys know.”

“Thanks Ni,” Louis smiles as he watches Niall walk back towards the table. “Come on sweetheart, let’s go.”

Harry sniffles into Louis' shoulder but allows himself to be lead outside. Once they get outside Louis takes them away from the club to somewhere a bit quieter.  

They end up in a quiet street, Louis leans against the wall taking Harry with him, sliding down the wall until they’re both sat on the floor. Louis puts his finger under Harry’s chin and lifts his face. 

“What happened, darling?”

“Dunno,” Harry shrugs. “One minute I was dancing with Niall and looking over at you and the boys and the next someone was grabbing me from behind.”

He sniffles, letting out a quiet sob leaning his head back into Louis' shoulder. 

“You’re okay,” Louis says running his hand through Harry’s hair. 

“I’m just so fucking scared all the time,” Harry sobs. “I hate it.”

“Hey, it’s okay to be scared, I’m here,” Louis soothes, kissing Harry’s cheek. 

“I fucking hate it.”

“I think we’re both quite drunk,” Louis says. “Maybe we should go back to the house and we can figure stuff out there and sleep it off?”

Harry nods his head, standing up first before offering his hand to Louis. 

“I’m here,” Louis whispers to Harry once they begin walking. “I’m not going anywhere, and it’s okay to be scared.”

Harry just shakes his head, dropping Louis' hand and walking a bit faster so Louis has to speed walk to catch up to him and looking at the floor. 

“Harry,” Louis sighs. “You’ve been through a traumatic experience, it’s okay for you to be scared and no one is judging you for that.”

“Read that online did you?” Harry spits. 

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Louis asks furrowing his eyebrows.

“Nothing, I’m sorry,” Harry breathes taking Louis' hand in his own and running his fingers over it. “I’m just angry and drunk and I’m taking it out on you, sorry.”

“I look up stuff online because I have never experienced or had any experience with anything like you’re going through, so excuse me for trying to get a better understanding so I can actually help you,” Louis grits out taking his hand out of Harry’s. 

“No,” Harry groans. “Look, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it, come on, can we not?”

“Harry, I just want to help you,” Louis sighs stopping to look at Harry. 

He runs his hand down Harry’s face gently and Harry leans into the touch. 

“I know and I’m glad that you are.”

“I just love you so much,” Louis admits. “I want to do everything I can to make you feel better.”

“I love you, too,” Harry says grabbing Louis' hand from his face and kissing the palm before taking it in his own. They start to walk again back towards the house and when they get there, the door is unlocked meaning the boys are already home, Zayn and Niall in Zayn’s room and Liam in Harry’s old room, leaving Louis' room for Harry and Louis. 

When they undressed for bed, both of them deciding to just stay in their boxers, they climb into bed and within minutes of lying down Harry is on top of Louis kissing over his face. 

“What brought this on?” Louis grins. 

“Just want sex with my boyfriend,” Harry smirks. “Not a crime, is it?”

Louis rolls his eyes before capturing Harry’s lips in his own, pulling Harry tighter to him as he deepens the kiss. Harry reaches his hand down and pulls Louis' boxers down slightly taking Louis' cock in his hand stroking it up and down. 

“Harry,” Louis whines. “We’re so drunk.”

“Drunk sex is the best sex,” Harry grins kissing Louis' lips gently.

“Harry, come on,” Louis says. “I don’t want our first time to be when we’re wasted.”

“God Lou, just help me forget,” he mutters against Louis' lips before they both freeze.

“Sorry?” Louis says.

“Fuck,” Harry says squeezing his eyes closed. “Please pretend you didn’t hear that.”

“Haz, I’m not mad,” Louis says running his hands up and down Harry’s naked back. “I just don’t think we should be doing this if you still feel bad.”

“I feel bad all the fucking time, Louis,” Harry hisses.

“Wow, baby,” Louis says bringing one of his hands to rub over the back of Harry’s neck. “You have to tell me if you feel bad.”

“I feel bad all the time,” Harry sniffs. “I don’t know how to make it stop.”

Louis wraps his arms around Harry tightly so that Harry brings his head into Louis' shoulder. He runs his hand through Harry’s hair and the other over Harry’s back and only sighs slightly when he hears Harry sob. 

“Baby, no one expects you to feel perfect straight away,” he whispers into Harry’s ear. “It’s a process and it takes time and it doesn’t matter if you have a bad day or if you cry every once in a while.”

Harry nods against his shoulder and moves his body so he is lying next to Louis instead of on top of him but he keeps his head tucked into Louis' shoulder. 

“Whatever you need, I’ll be here every step of the way,” Louis tells him kissing the top of his head. 

Harry nods once more before his breath gets heavier and heavier, once Louis is certain Harry’s asleep he kisses him once more before falling asleep himself. 

***

Harry wakes slowly, and reaches out his arm out to Louis and frowns slightly with his eyes still closed when he feels nothing. He squints his eyes open and rubs them slightly trying to block out the light that’s streaming through the window. 

“Louis?” he mumbles groggily. 

He frowns once again when he receives no reply, and gets up slowly before stretching his arms in the air and heading towards the kitchen. When he reaches the kitchen he sees Louis sitting at the table watching Zayn cook breakfast. 

“Hey baby,” Louis smiles. “Good sleep?”

“I guess,” Harry hums, walking toward Louis and settling himself in Louis' lap burrowing his head into his shoulder. “Missed you this morning, don’t like waking up without you there.”

“I wasn’t far away, sweetheart,” Louis comments running his fingers through Harry’s hair.

Harry just grunts in response, burying his head further into Louis' shoulder hiding his face. Louis looks up towards Zayn who has his eyebrows raised. 

“Is he okay?” Zayn mouths. 

Louis furrows his brows and shrugs his shoulders slightly, he leans down and kisses Harry’s head. “Love you,” he mumbles into his hair. 

He feels Harry smile into his neck and then he feels a small kiss being placed onto his neck. 

“I’m so lucky you’re here for me,” Harry whispers against Louis' skin. 

“I’m always here, baby,” Louis mumbles. “I’m here to talk if you want.” 

“Later,” Harry murmurs. He moves his head out from Louis' shoulder and smiles over to Zayn before he presses a kiss to the corner of Louis' mouth. “What are you cooking, Zaynie?” 

“Full English,” Zayn smiles. “Just hope Niall and Liam actually wake up before Louis eats it all.”

Louis laughs rubbing his hand over Harry’s back beneath his t-shirt. 

“Fuck off,” he says. “I think you should be more worried about Big Foot over here eating it all,” he laughs pointing towards Harry. 

“I’m not that tall, you’re just tiny,” Harry grins running his hand down Louis' cheek. 

“I’m big,” Louis frowns. “Give me a break.” 

“Yeah,” Harry laughs, kissing Louis' cheek. “You’re huge, baby.” 

“Gross,” Zayn mutters. “Breakfast is ready, I’m going to get Niall and Liam.” 

Louis grins before patting Harry’s thighs and gesturing for him to stand up. Once they’re both standing Louis grabs Harry’s hand and leads him over to the kitchen counter. He drops Harry’s hand and grabs two plates, he dishes up both of them a breakfast and passes the plate in his right hand to Harry and moves to sit at the table. Harry smiles and follows him, sitting down next to Louis pulling his chair even closer to Louis. 

“Love you,” Harry mumbles taking a bite out of his egg.

“Morning,” Niall announces yawning slightly, Louis and Harry look up to see Liam and Zayn trailing behind him. 

Once they’re all settled at the table eating their breakfast, Louis looks up to Zayn who raises his eyebrows and gestures towards Harry. Louis shrugs and mouths, ‘later’, Zayn nods his head and looks back down at his plate. 

“So,” Louis starts smiling. “What’s the plan for today boys?”

“Dunno,” Liam mumbles shrugging his shoulders. “Soph is at her parents so I’m as free as a bird.” 

“I don’t have work for the next few days,” Louis says. “Fancy a movie day?”

“Sounds amazing,” Harry smiles, grabbing Louis' hand under the table. 

Louis grins, rubbing his thumb slowly over the back of Harry’s. 

“Me and you need a little chat first?” he whispers to Harry while leaning over to kiss his cheek. 

“Sure,” Harry nods. “What about the rest of you, you all down?”

“As long as it’s not _Mamma Mia_ again,” Niall says. 

“Meryl Streep is a fucking gift,” Harry states, and Louis nods his head in agreement. “You should feel blessed to watch any film she is in.” 

“ _Devil Wears Prada_ it is then,” Niall responds rolling his eyes. 

“Don’t fight it, baby,” Zayn says soothingly. “Louis' always been obsessed with Meryl Streep, always made us watch her films.”

“Guilty,” Louis giggles, holding his hands up in defeat.

“Well, if you can’t beat ‘em,” Liam laughs. 

Harry smiles turning his head back towards his food and finishes the last few bits of his breakfast.

*** 

“I want to see a therapist,” Harry says later before Louis has even shut the door to their bedroom. 

Louis walks back over toward the bed where Harry is sat and places himself next to Harry and takes his hands into his own. 

“Whatever you think is right, baby,” he says bringing Harry’s hand to his mouth and placing a small kiss on the back. “If you think that’s what you need, I’ll drive you to every single appointment if you need me to.”

“I just think I need help,” Harry murmurs sadly, looking down at his hands. “I want to be better, I want to be better for you.”

“Baby,” Louis starts, rubbing his hand over the backs of Harry’s hands. “You wanting to get help should have nothing to do with me. The person who is most important right now is you, not me.”

“I just want to be okay for you,” Harry sighs. “I’m sick of you feeling like you have to tread on eggshells around me.”

“That’s not even close to how I feel,” Louis whispers. “I love you so goddamn much, and I want you to feel better for you. You are the most important person, I told you that when you were still with Eric and I’ll tell you now. The number one person in your world should always be you, and that’s not selfish.” 

“I just want to be normal,” Harry breathes. 

Louis moves his arms and wraps them around Harry’s shoulder bringing him closer so that Harry can burrow his head into Louis' shoulder. 

“This doesn’t make you abnormal,” Louis mumbles against Harry’s hair. “I admit it’s not the most normal situation, but it doesn’t make you abnormal for having experienced it. If anything, you’re extraordinary for having overcome something so terrible and you’re so amazingly strong for still fighting right now. I’m so in awe of you.”

“Not that great,” Harry sighs against the skin on Louis' neck. “I stayed with him for months even though he was abusive.”

“I cannot even begin to imagine how hard it is to be in the situation you were, or how hard it would be to try and get out of a situation like that,” Louis says. “But you did, you overcame it. It doesn’t matter whether it took you a couple of months or even if it took you a couple of years, you came out on the other side.” 

Harry smiles and leans his head up so he can capture Louis' lips with his own. 

“I’m so glad I have you,” he mumbles against Louis' lips. 

“You’re the bravest person I know,” Louis whispers. “You won’t be any weaker whether you seek help from a therapist or not, you know. I know I try to help you as much as I can, but I don’t have experience with this, I don’t know whether what I’m saying is the right thing. So, I do think seeking help from someone who’d know exactly what to say would be best.”

“I guess,” Harry nods. “You do say the right things, by the way. You always know how to make me feel better.” 

“It’s easy to compliment you,” Louis smiles kissing Harry’s dimple. “I just want you to see how amazing you are, and I’m so sad someone ever made you feel like you were anything less than perfect.”

“Doesn’t matter now,” Harry smiles sadly. “I have you.”

“That you do,” Louis grins. “No more pesky boys telling you you’re not good enough. These toxic people shouldn’t even be allowed to say your name, in my opinion.” 

“Hopefully there won’t be any more toxic people in my life,” Harry says looking up to Louis. 

“Definitely not, I’ll protect you,” Louis grins. “I’ll be your knight in shining armour, keeping anyone away who doesn’t think that you’re the sun.” 

Harry laughs loudly, shoving Louis' shoulder slightly. “If you carry on the way you do, I might get a big head.” 

“Good,” Louis says. “Someone as beautiful as you should have a big head.”

“Stop,” Harry blushes. 

“I don’t think you’ll ever understand how I really feel about you,” Louis hums stroking his hand lightly through Harry’s hair. “I feel like you’re literally unreal, I honestly can’t believe you exist and I think the sun is very jealous you do.”

“Of course,” Harry laughs. “The sun is jealous I exist.”

“Baby, when you smile I feel like you are the sun, so of course it’d be jealous you exist.”

“How am I the sun?” Harry asks furrowing his brows. 

“Babe, it’s a massive ball of energy that brightens everyone’s day,” Louis says. “You’re like twins.” 

“Love you,” Harry smiles leaning up to kiss Louis. “So much,” he whispers against Louis' lips. 

“You too, sweet thing,” Louis replies, pushing Harry until his back hits the bed and leans on top of him reciprocating the kiss. 

They kiss for a while until Louis tucks his body into Harry’s side and rests his head on Harry’s chest. 

“Knock knock,” Niall says, peering his head around the door. “We’re about to start the Meryl Streep-athon if you guys are ready to stop being so gross and join.”

“Fuck off Ni,” Louis giggles. “As if you and Zayn are any better.” 

“Too right mate.” Niall grins. “Come on, you two are the only reason we’re watching Streep and you aren’t even in there.” 

“Be there now,” Harry says, leaning down to kiss the top of Louis' head. “We call the comfy armchair,” he shouts after Niall who’s walking back towards the lounge. 

“You’ll have to fight me for it,” Niall calls back. 

Harry laughs and stands up quickly, chasing after Niall and tackling him in the hallway. Louis giggles from his place in the bed, but then sighs when he hears Harry grunt in pain. 

“Baby,” Louis says getting up from the bed walking toward them. “Know your strengths.”

“I want my chair,” Harry frowns.

“I know,” Louis grins wickedly. “This was a distraction,” he exclaims pushing Niall back down to the floor and running toward the lounge before diving down on the chair and patting his lap when Harry starts walking towards him. 

Niall pouts as he drags himself to the lounge and throws himself onto Zayn’s body that’s laid out on the longer sofa. 

“Baby they’re being mean,” Niall sulks. “Tell them to stop.”

“Children,” Zayn starts wrapping his arms around Niall and cuddling him closer to his chest. “Be nice.”

“Yes Dad,” Louis and Harry both reply simultaneously rolling their eyes. 

*** 

“I’ll be waiting right outside,” Louis says squeezing Harry’s hand as they sit in the car park of the doctor’s office. “You can leave at any time and I’ll be right here, okay?”

Harry nods his head, biting his lip as he stares and the door to the office. 

“You don’t have to do it,” Louis mumbles. “We can go home right now.”

“No,” Harry shakes his head. “I need to do this.”

Louis leans over his seat in the car and kisses the side of Harry’s head. 

“I’m so proud of you for even coming here,” Louis whispers. “You don’t have to go in if you’re not ready.” 

“Give me a few minutes,” Harry says. “Just need to prepare myself.” 

Louis nods his head, leaning back into his seat checking over the clock as he does. They’re technically ten minutes early to the appointment with the therapist, just because Harry thought this would happen, he knew he wouldn’t be able to go in straight away. 

“Could you maybe come in with me?” Harry asks, looking down at his lap. 

Louis smiles sadly, bringing his hand up to Harry’s neck and tilting his head towards him, he places a gentle kiss on Harry’s mouth. 

“Whatever you need, baby,” he whispers against Harry’s lips. 

Harry nods again, closing his eyes and pressing his forehead against Louis'. He breathes in deeply inhaling Louis' scent and trying to imagine himself anywhere other than a therapist’s office ready to talk about his abusive ex-boyfriend. He leaned his head back and opened his eyes, looking straight into Louis' eyes. 

“Love you,” Harry whispers. “So much.” 

“Ditto,” Louis smiles. 

Harry furrows his brows before leaning forward and capturing Louis' lips in a kiss. 

“Say it back properly,” he mumbles against Louis' lips, kissing him once more.

“I love you,” Louis says grinning. “I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you.”

Harry laughs into the kiss, bringing his hand up to Louis' hair and running his hands through it. 

“Chill out,” he mutters. “I might start to think you’re clingy.”

“Never,” Louis laughs. 

“Right,” Harry starts, sitting up properly in the car and brushing down his top. “Let’s do this.”

Louis smiles before opening his car door and stepping out, he walks around the back of the car around to the passenger side and opens Harry’s door. Harry turns his body towards Louis when he opens the door but doesn’t make a move to get out. 

“I love you,” Louis says leaning against the car door and taking Harry’s hand into his own. “I’m here every step of the way.”

Harry smiles leaning forward to kiss Louis in the corner of his mouth. 

“We can wait,” Louis whispers running his fingers lightly through Harry’s hair. “Doesn’t have to be today.” 

“No,” Harry shakes his head. “If I don’t do it today I don’t think I’ll ever have the balls again.” 

Louis nods leaning forward kissing Harry’s hair before inhaling deeply, smelling Harry’s outrageously expensive shampoo. 

“Come on then,” Louis says, leaning back and holding his hand out. 

“Yeah,” Harry sighs. “Two secs.”

Harry leans down and grabs his water bottle from the floor before sighing once more. 

“It’s weird,” he comments to Louis. “Like I know I can do this, I’ve spoken about Eric to you, my mum, and like multiple people, but talking about it with a stranger is making me really anxious.”

“Why, baby?” Louis asks running his thumb over the back of Harry’s hand. 

“Dunno,” Harry shrugs. “Think it’s because they’re a stranger, I don’t want them to think I’m stupid for staying, like it’s so embarrassing that I let that happen. God, I’m so embarrassed,” Harry whispers sadly and buries his face into his hands. 

Louis frowns, moving forward to catch Harry’s hands and pulls them away from his face. “The only person who should feel embarrassed by this situation is Eric,” he comments. “You did nothing wrong, you have nothing to be embarrassed about.”

“I just don’t want people to think I’m weak just because that happened to me,” Harry sighs.

“Well, do you think that victims of domestic violence or rape are weak?” Louis asks. 

“No,” Harry frowns. “Of course not.” 

“Then you’re not either,” Louis says. “He hit you, and although he didn’t rape you he took advantage and manipulated you, that does not make you weak. You’re the strongest person I know because you walked away from that, you knew that you deserved better and you put yourself above the fake love he spewed to you, you’re the most courageous person I know.”

“Don’t know if I’d go that far,” Harry smiles. 

“Oh, I definitely would,” Louis says. “You are most definitely the bravest person I’ve ever met in my life.”  
“Stop,” Harry mumbles giggling quietly. “You’re making me blush.”

“I just wish you’d see it too,” Louis sighs. “You can’t even begin to understand how brave you are for overcoming what you have, I’m just sad you think you’re weak for letting it happen.”

“I’ll be okay,” Harry frowns. “One day I’ll see, maybe. You’ll just have to keep reminding me until then.”

“You have my word,” Louis smiles holding his hand over his heart. 

“Come on, dork,” Harry says getting out of the car and extending his hand towards Louis who wraps his fingers tightly around Harry’s. “Let’s do this.” 

Louis nods his head determinedly and they both walk together toward the therapist’s office, their hands swinging lowly between them. 

*** 

Louis sits on the sofa re-watching the last season of _Game of Thrones_ and plotting numerous ways in his head about how Cersei could meet her demise, when he checks his watch and glances at the door. Harry should be home any minute now, his therapy session ended twenty minutes ago, but Louis tries to stop worrying about it and turns his attention back to the TV. Harry walks through the door of the flat a few minutes later and smiles when he sees Louis sprawled out on the sofa, he closes the door loudly, which causes Louis to look up from the TV and grin. 

“How was it?” Louis says smiling. 

“Alright,” Harry responds even though his eyes are slightly red. “Think I’m getting more comfortable with her now.”

“I wish you’d let me drive you,” Louis sighs standing up and running his hand down Harry’s cheek. “Don’t like seeing you sad.”

Harry frowns placing his hand over Louis' that’s resting on his face, he pulls the hand down from his cheek to his mouth do that he can place a kiss on the palm of it. 

“She just got quite deep into the whole Eric thing today,” he whispers. “I relived a few things, and it just got me thinking about how shit everything is.”

“Baby,” Louis says sadly, leading Harry over to the sofa. “Do you want to talk about it?”

Harry shrugs his shoulders and leans his hand down so it’s resting on Louis' shoulder. 

“Just feel a bit like crap,” he mumbles resting his hand on Louis' thigh and lightly trailing his fingers over his jeans. “I just still can’t believe that happened to me.”

“I know, it’s surreal,” Louis whispers into Harry’s hair. “I’m glad you’re slowly realising that this is something that happened to you and not something that happened because of you.” 

“Julia helps a lot,” Harry smiles. “It’s a slow process, but I’m in a much better place than when I started these sessions a few weeks ago.”

“I’m so happy for you, sweetheart.” Louis kisses Harry’s cheek. “I’m glad you found someone you can talk to about this.”

Harry looks up at Louis and smiles before leaning closer and sealing their lips together. 

“Still need to talk to you about it,” Harry says against Louis' lips. “Never going to stop needing you.”

“I didn’t mean it like that,” Louis laughs. “I meant someone professional; I don’t know if half of what I spout is the right thing, love.”

“But, you say exactly what I need to hear,” Harry replies honestly. “You always know when I need cheering up, and you always know exactly what to say to do that. I couldn’t have done any of this without you.”

Louis shakes his head looking down at their hands that are now intertwined. 

“You could’ve,” he argues. “You’re amazing, I honestly believe you could do anything.”

“I’m so glad I met you,” Harry smiles. 

“Me too, sweet thing,” Louis says. “Me too.”

Harry laughs and pushes down Louis' body so he’s lying on the sofa and drapes himself over Louis' body and resting his head on Louis' chest. Louis grins before kissing the top of Harry’s head and begins to run his fingers lightly through Harry’s hair. 

“Love you,” Harry whispers leaning down to kiss Louis' chest over the material of his top. 

“When’s your next appointment, babe?” Louis asks, still running his hands through Harry’s hair. 

“Um,” he starts thinking, distracted by the hand playing with his hair and lulling him to sleep. “Wednesday? Maybe? Dunno just don’t stop.”

Louis laughs loudly but continues to run his hand through Harry’s hair. 

“God, I lucked out so hard on you,” Harry begins. “Eric never would’ve wanted to do anything like this.”

“Can’t imagine why, you’re like a little kitten.” Louis says grinning when Harry leans his head further into Louis' hand to encourage him to keep playing with his hair. 

“You know,” Harry murmurs with his eyes closed. “Most boyfriends wouldn’t appreciate me talking about my ex so much.” 

“I’m not most boyfriends, then I guess,” Louis replies. “I want you to feel like you can talk about Eric around me. I don’t want you to keep anything about him or your feelings about what he did secret, I don’t ever want you to think you’re alone.” 

“Never feel alone when I’m with you,” Harry says tiredly barely holding back a yawn. 

“Good, then I’m doing my job,” Louis grins. “Now go to sleep, and don’t worry I’m not offended that you can barely keep your eyes open for this conversation.”

Harry opens his eyes and looks up to Louis puckering his lips. Louis laughs and leans down to press their lips together, Harry pulls away smiling before tucking his head back into Louis' chest and drifting off to sleep. 

*** 

“You’ll never guess fucking what,” Harry exclaims as he walks through their flat days later. 

“Hello to you, too,” Louis says walking toward where he is taking off his shoes by the front door and leaning in to kiss Harry with his arm draped gently around Harry’s waist. “How was therapy?”

“We can talk about therapy later,” Harry replies rolling his eyes. “Guess who is getting fucking married?”

“Niall?” Louis guesses, but Harry shakes his head. “Liam?”

“No,” Harry laughs. “None of our friends.”

“Um,” Louis thinks for a moment, running his hand lightly over Harry’s waist where his top has ridden up slightly. “Lottie?”

“Why would Lottie tell me she was getting married before she told you?” Harry asks furrowing his brow. 

“Baby,” Louis begins. “We both know you talk to her every day, of course she’d tell you before me.”

“I guess, but no it’s not her,” Harry says grinning widely. “Shall I just tell you?”

“Fine,” Louis sighs. “Take away all my fun of guessing.”

“It’s Gemma,” Harry cries.

Louis' eyes widen as he looks over Harry’s face for a moment to check he’s not lying. “Wait,” he says confused. “Your Gemma?”

“Yup,” Harry nods his head.

“I didn’t even know she had a boyfriend,” Louis says. 

“No,” Harry snorts, walking over toward the kitchen and flicking the switch on the kettle. “Neither did I.”

“Hang on,” Louis starts leaning up to the cupboard and grabbing his and Harry’s Mickey and Minnie mugs. “Am I being pranked?”

“No,” Harry giggles moving around the kitchen to grab the tea bags. “This is 100% serious business. Apparently, she’s been seeing this guy on the sly for a couple of weeks, but they’re madly in love and want to get married as soon as possible.”

“She’s not pregnant, is she?” Louis asks.

Harry laughs loudly, moving behind Louis to wrap his arms around his waist and lean his chin on Louis' shoulder while Louis finishes making their tea. 

“Definitely not,” he says against the skin on Louis' neck. “Not a shotgun wedding, just a ‘holy shit I found the love of my life and can’t bear another day where I’m not married to him’ wedding.”

“Well shit,” Louis states, throwing their tea bags into the bin, he only cheers quietly when the tea bags actually go into the bin from where he threw them on the other side of the room. 

“Understatement,” Harry smiles. “Mum’s pretty happy about it though.”

“I bet she is,” Louis says, turning in Harry’s arms so that his back is pressed against the cabinets. 

“Think she’s just relieved that she didn’t have like a Vegas wedding and not tell anyone,” Harry says, leaning forward to rest his forehead against Louis'. “To be honest, think she was expecting us to tie the knot way before Gemma did.” 

“Really?” Louis grins looking up into Harry’s eyes. 

“Sure,” Harry responds. “Gemma has never really been serious with anyone, but my mum thinks we’re the real deal, honestly she’d propose for me if she could.”

“Well, I’m honoured,” Louis says holding his hand over his heart. “I’d definitely say yes to Anne.”

Harry laughs and leans his head away from Louis', but not before pressing a kiss to Louis' forehead. “Not yet,” he grins. “We’ve got to graduate first.” 

“Of course, Harold,” Louis mutters sarcastically. “I’m all about the education.” 

“Whatever,” Harry says, rolling his eyes. “So, she wants the wedding to be very soon, like next month soon.”

“Ooh,” Louis smiles. “I do love a summer wedding.” 

Harry grabs Louis' hand and leads him over to the sofa, each of them carrying their mugs, which they then both place on the table. Louis takes a seat on the sofa and instead of sitting next to him Harry plants himself right on Louis' lap. 

“Gemma has always wanted a summer wedding,” Harry says. “Think that’s why she’s jumping the gun a bit.” 

“Have you met the lad?” Louis asks, running his fingers over Harry’s stomach. 

“No,” Harry sighs shaking his head. “Never even heard of him.” 

Louis kisses the side of Harry’s head before leaning over to grab the remote and flicking the TV on, skipping to a random channel, but keeping the volume low just for some background noise.    

“What’s the plan, then?”

“Mum wants us to come down this weekend, just to meet him and start the first few plans, like the date and venue and stuff,” Harry says leaning his head back so he’s more snuggled into Louis' side. “Is that okay?”  
“More than,” Louis agrees. “Missed Anne’s roast.” 

“Tell her that and you’ll forever be her favourite son-in-law,” Harry smiles turning his eyes towards the TV. 

“Baby,” Louis begins. “I have no competition for that title and I hope Gemma’s lad realises that he’ll always be playing for second, otherwise things might get awkward.”

“You’re so full of it,” Harry laughs turning his head back to Louis. 

“You love me,” he replies grinning. “What’s your dream wedding then?”

Harry squints his eyes up at Louis, almost as if checking whether they’re seriously going to have this conversation, before he shrugs his shoulders. 

“I used to have this idea in my head of the ideal day,” he smiles. “But after meeting you, I think just as long as you and I are there, declaring our love for each other in front of all our family and friends, I don’t care what else happens.”

“Sweetheart.” Louis leans down to kiss Harry once, twice and then a third time before pulling away. “Now you’re the one giving me a big head.” 

“I’m serious,” Harry grins. “The only thing I need for the perfect day is you, and some cheesecake.”

“Fuck,” Louis laughs. “Who doesn’t love a good cheesecake?”

“This is why I love you,” Harry says. “You just get me.” 

“Yeah, yeah,” Louis mumbles. “Now come on we’ve got last night’s Shark Week episodes to catch up on.”

Harry smiles leaning up to kiss Louis once before settling himself against his side watching as Louis flicks the TV over to a show about Tiger Sharks and honestly, he couldn’t be happier. 

*** 

That Friday finds Harry and Louis sat once again on some dodgy train carriage that smells a bit too much like weed, cuddled together in their seats and staring out the window as they travel to Anne’s. 

“What’s his name again?” Louis asks looking away from the window towards Harry who has the aisle seat. 

“Alex,” Harry replies, leaning his head on Louis' shoulder. 

“Strong name.”

“I hope he’s nice,” Harry frowns looking up at Louis. 

Louis leans down and kisses Harry’s forehead before pulling back and brushing the hair away from Harry’s face. 

“He will be,” Louis reassures. “Gemma won’t allow anything less for herself.” 

“That’s true,” Harry laughs. “I’m so happy for her, but I’m also super anxious to meet this new guy.” 

“You shouldn’t be,” Louis says soothingly kissing Harry’s forehead again. “You have nothing to worry about.” 

“I just–” Harry starts before pausing, wondering how to phrase his worries. “Am I supposed to threaten him?”

“What?” Louis laughs loudly. “Why would you threaten him?”

“Dunno,” Harry shrugs his shoulders. “Just feels like something a brother should do.” 

Louis laughs running his fingers through Harry’s hair, he has to look away briefly from Harry to try and contain the smile that’s overtaking his entire face. He’s just constantly so endeared by Harry and sometimes it’s almost too much to handle. 

“Baby,” he grins looking back. “I’m pretty sure Gemma can handle herself.”

“I just feel like she gave you a bit of a tough time, maybe I should do the same.” 

“No one will take you seriously,” Louis giggles. “It’ll be like a baby lion trying to fight a fully-grown lion.”

“You know, lions pretend that their cub’s bites and attacks really hurt them, you know to encourage them,” Harry smirks. 

“Point taken,” Louis mutters wrapping his arm further around Harry’s shoulder pulling Harry closer to him. “I’ll cheer you on if you want to take on Alex, I’ll be your lion parent encouraging you.” 

“Weird,” Harry laughs. “Thanks for the support, though.” 

“Always supporting my baby,” Louis says. “I’d even hold up a sign if you wanted me to.” 

“Now that’s a bit excessive,” Harry laughs leaning down into his rucksack and grabbing the flask of tomato soup Louis made sure Harry packed. “Want some?”

Louis smiles leaning forward to take the flask from Harry’s hand, he unscrews the lid pouring a small amount into the lid before blowing on it slightly. 

“This is sick,” Louis grins, taking a sip of the soup and handing it over to Harry. “Can’t believe we went all out this time, I love it.” 

“Thanks,” Harry replies taking the lid from Louis and finishing the rest of the soup that was in the lid. 

“How was therapy the other day?” Louis asks, squeezing Harry’s hand. “You never did get around to telling me after the news about Gemma.” 

“Alright, I guess,” Harry frowns, moving to screw the lid back on the flask and putting it back in his bag. He looks back up to Louis and sees him looking disbelievingly down to Harry. “Okay, it was intense,” he sighs. 

“How come?” Louis queries, pulling Harry close to his side once more. 

“Dunno.” Harry shrugs his shoulders, tucking his head into Louis' neck. “She got me thinking about why it happened and if there was anything I could have done differently so it wouldn’t have happened.” 

“And?” Louis urges. 

“I mean, I guess there was nothing I could’ve done,” Harry sighs, tucking his face into Louis' neck almost so that he doesn’t have to face the world. “There was nothing that I had done to make him behave that way, and there was nothing I could’ve done to stop him, I think it’s just hard to finally realise that it genuinely wasn’t my fault.” 

Louis looks down at where Harry has his face buried in his neck, his curls being the only thing that Louis can see. Louis squeezes his eyes shut as he leans down to kiss the top of Harry’s head, he suddenly feels a wave of emotion come over him and swallows heavily trying to contain his emotions. Louis honestly feels like he could cry, so instead he just buries his face into Harry’s hair and inhales deeply. 

“I’m so fucking proud of you,” Louis whispers into Harry’s curls. “You’ve come so far and honest to fucking God babe, you amaze me every single day.” 

Harry looks up when he hears the emotion in Louis' voice and sniffs slightly. 

“I love you so much,” he smiles leaning up to kiss Louis. “It’s weird because I’d always just blamed myself. Like, we’d been together for a while before it started then all of a sudden it was like he was just a different person, so I’d always just thought it must’ve been something I’d done to make him change.” 

“Never your fault, sweetheart,” Louis sighs, running his hands through Harry’s hair. 

“I think I’m slowly realising that.” Harry squeezes Louis' free hand that’s lying in his lap. “I still think I have some responsibility just because he did change so drastically that I feel like it must’ve been something I had done.”

“Definitely not,” Louis shakes his head. 

“I know you don’t agree,” Harry smiles. “I know I shouldn’t feel like this, I _know_ I couldn’t have done anything differently and I know I didn’t do anything differently in the relationship to make him change. But at the same time, I can’t help feeling like this.”  

“I’m trying to understand,” Louis soothes.

“Sometimes I just feel like I’ve lost something,” Harry sighs, looking down at where his and Louis' hands are intertwined in his lap. “Like I’ve lost the person Eric used to be, I know you hate him, but he used to be such a good person. He was so nice and friendly, and I just don’t know what happened and I’m so sad it did.” 

“It’s okay,” Louis whispers. 

“I miss the person he used to be,” Harry admits, trying to tuck himself even further into Louis' side so that he’s practically sitting on his lap. 

“It’s okay to feel like that,” Louis says. “You practically lost your best friend, he’s not the person he used to be and that’s got to be hard.”

Harry sighs, running his thumb over the back of Louis' hand. 

“I miss him so much,” he confesses. “I know I shouldn’t, I hate him but God do I miss him.” 

“You’re allowed to miss him,” Louis says softly. “No one can tell you how to feel, anything you feel is okay.”

“Just wish things were different,” Harry breathes. 

“Me too, baby,” Louis whispers. “I’m so sorry you ever went through that.”

“I guess if these things didn’t happen then we would never have gotten together,” Harry smiles, looking back up to Louis once more. 

“That’s true,” Louis concedes. “But I still wish you didn’t go through that, I would give anything to have stopped that happening to you.”

“I love you,” Harry smiles sadly. “I hate what happened to me, but I’m so happy I got you as a consequence.” 

“I would’ve been there either way, we were roommates we kind of had to be in each other’s lives–” 

“But,” Harry interrupts. “You were amazing with how you helped me with Eric, brought us closer together.” 

Louis sighs, looking back out of the window, it may be a topic they never agree on. Louis feels like he’d give up everything to prevent what did happen to Harry, regardless of whether it brought them closer together or not. He’d never wish that on anyone, not even his worst enemy. 

“I’m not saying I’m glad that what happened, happened,” Harry mutters tracing patterns on the back of Louis' hand. “Me and Eric were never perfect, even though I always liked to think we were and I used to tell you we were in love, but even if he hadn’t turned into a massive prick we would’ve grown apart. We wanted different things in life, and that would’ve eventually driven us away from each other. I’m shocked that he did what he did, but I’m slightly thankful that because I was dealt a shit hand in life with Eric, that I got you in the end.” 

“I guess,” Louis hums. “I just love you so much, wish it never happened.”

“But it did,” Harry says determinedly. “And I’m dealing with it a step at a time, but my only point was I’m happy that the only good thing to come from the shittest situation ever is that we got together in the end.” 

“I think we would’ve found each other anyway,” Louis smiles. 

“You think?” Harry grins, looking up to Louis only to find him grinning down, the corners of his eyes crinkling slightly. 

“Definitely,” Louis nods. “Fate and all that shit.” 

Harry laughs leaning up to kiss Louis, he kisses his lips four times before pulling away. 

“How romantic,” he comments dryly. “I had the biggest crush on you the first time I saw you.” 

“You didn’t,” Louis laughs shoving Harry slightly. “Stop trying to earn brownie points, I’m already your boyfriend you don’t need to try so hard.” 

“Swear down, babe,” Harry says bringing his hand up to his heart. “Or have you forgotten that I spilt all that tea over you?”

“That’s not because you had a crush though,” Louis grins. 

“Babe,” Harry starts. “I spilt that fucking tea, one, because you scared me and two, you are so fucking hot I was shocked.” 

“Stop,” Louis giggles. 

Harry puckers his lips expectantly, and Louis laughs loudly before connecting their lips together. Louis only pulls away reluctantly when he feels the train slowing down and he looks back out the window. 

“Come on, Curly, this is our stop,” he says, leaning down to grab his own bag and urging Harry up out of the seat. 

Harry smiles reaching for his bag before standing and grabbing Louis' hand leading him off the train. 

*** 

“My babies,” Anne cries as she comes out of the house to greet them on the grass just outside the front door. “How was your journey?”

“Good,” Louis smiles, leaning in to kiss Anne’s cheek once she was finished hugging Harry. 

“I’m glad,” Anne says, looking toward Harry and leaning down to grab his hand. “How’s things?”

“Fine,” Harry huffs. “I’m not a child you know.” 

Anne rolls her eyes but squeezes Harry’s hand at the same time. 

“I know you’re not,” she grins. “But you’re my baby, and I need to know you’re okay at all times.” 

“I know you text Louis on a daily basis, so I’m sure you already know,” Harry responds glancing toward Louis who holds his hands up guiltily. “It’s good though, my therapist is an angel, she’s making me realise a lot.” 

“Like what?” Anne asks leading them towards the house. 

“Mainly how it’s not my fault,” Harry says looking back towards Louis and smiling. “I was saying to Louis how like it’s just weird to finally realise that there was nothing I could’ve done.” 

“Of course there was nothing you could’ve done, sweetie,” Anne reassures.  “But, I’m glad you’re finally realising it.” 

“Wouldn’t have been able to do it without either of you,” Harry says, glancing towards Louis smiling before looking back at his mum. “You’re my favourite people.” 

“Love you,” Anne smiles, kissing Harry’s cheek. “Now come on, Alex is in the lounge very nervous to meet his future brothers-in-law.”

Louis giggles grabbing Harry’s hand and walking with him towards the lounge, squeezing Harry’s hand twice before Anne opens the door. He notices Robin sat in the corner chair and sends him a smile, which Robin returns widely. Louis then looks towards the other sofa to see Gemma sat with her hands linked with who he assumes to be Alex. Alex stands as soon as he sees Harry and Louis, he stands taller than both Harry and Louis, which Louis is only slightly annoyed about. 

Alex steps forward and pushes his hand toward Harry first. “Nice to meet you, mate,” he smiles, his blue eyes glistening. “Gemma has told me all about you.” 

“Only good I hope,” Harry jokes. 

“Of course, she’s obsessed with you,” Alex laughs. “A sibling love like I’ve never seen, makes me wish I wasn’t an only child.” 

“Stop,” Harry blushes leaning towards Gemma and wrapping his arms around her. “I like him,” he whispers in her ear, Gemma squeezes his waist before pulling away grinning widely and kissing his cheek. 

“Alright, pal?” Louis smiles holding his hand towards Alex. “I’m Louis.”

“Trust me, I know,” Alex laughs. “Gemma raves as much about you almost as much as she does about Harry.” 

“I knew she loved me,” Louis winks towards Gemma. 

“I’ll go finish off dinner, you get yourselves acquainted,” Anne interrupts before walking out of the door towards the kitchen. Robin stands and throws a smile Alex’s way and leaves the room to follow Anne.

“So,” Harry starts, sitting himself on the sofa. “How long have you been dating?”

Gemma smiles sitting herself down on the opposite sofa and pulling Alex to her side. 

“Met in January, started dating March time, got engaged last week,” she grins, placing her hand on Alex’s thigh to put her ring on display. 

“Why did you keep it a secret?” Louis asks sitting down and cuddling himself into Harry’s side. 

“I, uh–” Gemma starts glancing towards Harry. “Everything was happening with you and Eric and I just didn’t want to take attention away from you. I knew you needed love from everyone and I didn’t think it was the right time, then we just got a bit caught up in the secret and well, cat’s out the bag now.”

“I never would’ve wanted you to feel like you couldn’t tell me something,” Harry frowns. 

“I know,” Gemma smiles. “It just wasn’t the right time, you were going through so much shit and you weren’t in a good place. I wanted to just be there for you and I didn’t want to make anything about me.” 

“I feel bad,” Harry mutters looking down and folding his hands in his lap. Louis moves his hand and squeezes Harry’s thigh reassuringly and moves down to kiss his shoulder gently. “I want you to tell me things, I never want you to feel like you can’t tell me.”

“Baby,” Louis says squeezing his thigh once more. “I understand where she’s coming from and it is 100% not your fault.”

“No, definitely not your fault,” Gemma confirms. “I just felt it wasn’t the right time to introduce someone new and start spouting about how my love life is amazing.” 

Alex smiles nervously wrapping his arm tightly around Gemma. 

“Gemma was honest with me from when she found out what Eric was doing to you,” he admits. “I was the one who suggested that we keep us a secret because we got together only a week before Louis told Anne about what was happening.” 

Harry winces slightly and Louis wraps his arm tightly around his shoulders, pulling Harry into his shoulder. 

“I never meant to make you sad,” Alex frowns. “We thought we were doing what was best for you.”

“You probably were,” Harry sighs. “I wasn’t in a good place, but I would’ve been happy for you.” 

“I know you would’ve,” Gemma smiles. “You’d be happy with whoever I brought home so long as they made me happy.” 

“I can see he does,” Harry grins gesturing towards Alex. 

“Stupidly happy,” Gemma blushes looking toward Alex who scrunches his nose and laughs slightly. “I’m glad you are as well.”

“I mean, he’s okay,” Harry smirks. “I cope.”

“Fuck off, sweetheart,” Louis says shoving Harry’s arm lightly. “You’d be lost without me.”

Harry laughs leaning towards Louis and running his fingers lightly over his arm. 

“Oh, I definitely would be,” he giggles. 

“Dinners ready,” Anne shouts from the kitchen.

Once they reach the room Louis rushes ahead of Harry slightly and pulls his chair out for him before sitting down himself. 

“Such a gentleman,” Gemma comments winking. “Alex, you need to up your game.”

“Sorry, Alex, but there is no competition,” Harry laughs. “Louis is disgustingly cute and gentlemanly.” 

“Baby, don’t start any competitions,” Louis smiles, placing his hand over the back of Harry’s chair. 

“Brotherly competition,” Harry grins. “It’s healthy.” 

“Stop.” Louis blushes, looking towards the door as Anne and Robin come in placing the food in the middle of the table.

They all lean in to plate up their food and tuck in to their food silently with the only sound in the room being their cutlery scraping against their plates. 

“This is amazing, Anne,” Alex smiles. “Thank you so much.”

“No problem, it’s a pleasure to meet my future son-in-law finally,” she responds raising her glass slightly towards Alex. “Glad my family is expanding in such a great way,” gesturing her glass then to Louis. 

“I just want to thank you for being so welcoming,” Louis says, smiling and squeezing Harry’s hand under the table. 

“Anyone who makes my babies happy, is welcome in my home,” Anne grins looking towards Harry. 

“So, when’s the wedding?” Harry asks. 

Gemma looks towards Alex and winces slightly, Alex nods his head and Louis is almost certain they’re having a silent conversation. 

“Two weeks?” Gemma shrugs glancing quickly to Anne who gasps. 

“Two weeks?” she exclaims. “How can we plan a wedding in two weeks?”

“We don’t want anything over the top,” Gemma says smiling at Alex. “We just want all our friends and family there.”

Louis glances towards Harry out of the corner of his eye and they share and small private smile together. 

“Okay,” Anne sighs. “Well are you off work now?”

“Yes.” Gemma nods simultaneously with Alex. “Both of us are off for the next three weeks, so that gives us two weeks to plan and a week for a honeymoon.” 

“Perfect,” Anne smiles. “Two weeks of intense planning ahead then? Harry care to help?”

“I’ll do as much as I can from our flat,” Harry says squeezing Louis' hand. “I see my therapist on a regular basis, so I can’t come and stay here for two weeks ‘cause I’ll need to be home.” 

Harry glances down at his lap and sighs slightly, Louis leans his hands over and places them both in Harry’s squeezing their fingers together. 

“Not your fault,” he whispers reassuringly. 

“That’s fine, baby,” Anne nods her head. “So, where’s this wedding happening?” she asks trying to divert the attention away from Harry who still has his head angled down towards his plate.   

Louis squeezes Harry’s hand and kisses the side of his head. 

“You’re okay,” he whispers in his ear. “No one is blaming you.”

“I know,” Harry mutters nodding his head, leaning up and sniffing slightly throwing a smile towards Louis and then directs his attention to his mum and sister. 

Anne smiles worryingly towards Louis who shakes his head gesturing for her not to worry before turning his attention to the conversation. 

“Now, is there going to be a cheesecake at this wedding?” Louis asks grinning towards Harry. “I’m not coming if there is not.”

“Of course there will be fucking cheesecake,” Gemma says, rolling her eyes. 

“Language,” Anne scolds. “But, of course, Harry loves cheesecake so every family event needs one.”

Louis squeezes Harry’s thigh and rests his hand lightly on Harry’s thigh. 

“Definitely having one at ours then,” Louis whispers and kisses Harry’s cheek. 

“Should make it cheesecake themed,” Harry comments giggling. 

“Now there is an idea,” Louis chuckles before leaning back down to take a bite of his food and listen to the wedding planning happening before him. 

*** 

The next two weeks of wedding planning flew by, despite Louis and Harry being only slightly involved in the planning they had never felt so exhausted. It’s only a few days before Harry and Louis are set to head back to Anne’s for the wedding when all the boys find themselves home and having a pizza night. 

“I hope you all realise you’re invited to the wedding,” Harry says taking a bite out of the pizza he’s sharing with Louis. “And if you don’t come, I’m firing you as my friends.”

“Sick, I love a good wedding,” Niall grins from where he’s cuddled into Zayn’s side running his hands over his stomach and groaning slightly. “I just hope I’ll be able to move by then.”

“I told you not to eat those last few slices,” Zayn chastises slightly. “But I’ll 100% be there, haven’t been to a wedding since I was 12.” 

Liam sighs from where he’s sat on the armchair, which he did have to fight Harry for and Harry almost won until Louis dragged him over to the longer sofa, dragged Harry down with him, and as an apology spent the last two hours stroking his hand soothingly over Harry’s hip. 

“Can I bring Soph?” he asks hopefully. “I am _not_ being fifth wheel at some soppy event where you’ll all be fucking heart-eyeing all night.” 

“Of course you can,” Harry laughs. “Already told mum to write her name on the guest list.” 

“Fucking sick,” Liam grins reaching for his phone in his pocket. “I’ll send her a text now.” 

“Sorry, you would’ve gotten proper fancy invites but last-minute wedding and all,” Harry shrugs his shoulders. 

“I don’t give a fuck about a bit of paper, mate,” Zayn laughs moving his hand down to run through Niall’s hair in an attempt to make him stop groaning. 

“Going to have to dress posh though,” Louis says. “No skinny jeans allowed.” 

“Yeah,” Harry sighs. “Gemma told me that four times, she’s also told me to keep my shirt buttoned up, but fuck it, it’s fashion.” 

“Whatever you say, baby,” Louis laughs running his hands lightly along Harry’s arm.  

“You love my nipples being out,” Harry frowns. 

Louis holds his hands up in defence and only slightly glares at Zayn from the corner of his eye who is laughing loudly at the scene before him. 

“I’m all about freeing the nip,” he says leaning over to kiss Harry’s forehead that’s still wrinkled from where he is frowning. “You wear whatever you want, baby, you’re going to upstage me anyway.” 

“As long as I don’t upstage the bride,” Harry smiles. 

“You will in my eyes,” Louis grins as he leans forward and plants a kiss right on Harry’s dimple. 

“Fucking hell,” Liam mutters. “Can we all simmer down a bit? Some of us have partners who are visiting their parents right now.” 

“Sorry,” Harry and Louis say simultaneously. 

They all turn their attention back to the TV for a moment where _Bridesmaids_ is playing, Harry leans to lie himself down on the sofa, pulling Louis with him so that they’re spooning with Louis' back against the sofa back and Harry pressed tightly against his chest. 

“Love my little spoon,” Louis whispers in his ear, kissing the side of his head. 

“Love you,” Harry whispers back. “So much, it’s actually unreal.” 

They lay there for a while until the end credits are rolling up against the screen and Louis can feel his eyes drifting closed. 

“How’s things, H?” Louis hears Liam whisper, but he keeps his eyes closed and squeezes Harry’s hip lightly to let him know he’s there if he needs him. 

“They’re okay,” Harry sighs. “I’m taking it a day at a time.” 

“I’m so fucking sorry,” Liam says sadly looking down at his hands. “I can’t believe I let that happen in my own fucking flat, I should’ve known.” 

“Hey,” Harry says pulling himself away from Louis and walking over to Liam. Louis opens his eyes when he feels Harry leave his arms and smiles when he sees Harry has pushed himself onto Liam’s lap and is wrapping his arms around him tightly. “Not your fault.”

“I just feel so guilty,” Liam sighs. “I can’t believe it was happening in my home.” 

“Same,” Niall agrees and Zayn wraps his arm tightly around him squeezing him to his chest. “I can’t stop thinking about how if I wasn’t so preoccupied with my own life I might’ve noticed something or picked up on a hint or– I don’t know, I just wish I’d done more.” 

“It happened,” Harry frowned. “But it’s over. I’m okay.” 

“But, I knew he was bad news, and I didn’t do anything,” Liam cries leaning his head more into Harry’s shoulder but Louis still hears him sniff slightly. 

“I’m an adult, and I make my own decisions in life,” Harry starts. “If you’d have tried to stop me I probably would’ve told you to fuck off and stopped being your friend.” 

“You didn’t tell Louis to fuck off,” Niall mutters. 

“That’s because I fancied the pants off Louis from day one. I probably didn’t realise, but that’s clearly why I let him get under my skin,” Harry grins wickedly towards Louis. “I actually did tell him to fuck off a couple of times. The first time I told him all the shit that happened we got into a fight over it, right after he’d bought me a McDonalds, like how ungrateful was I?”  

They all laugh loudly and Harry sighs kissing the top of Liam’s head. 

“I wasn’t ready to leave Eric when that happened, I was still deluded enough to think he actually loved me,” he smiles sadly. “But I did in the end, and that’s all that matters, so I don’t want any of you to blame yourselves thinking you could’ve done anymore, because what’s done is done, we can’t change that.” 

“You’re so fucking brave,” Zayn smiles. “I’m literally so in awe of you, mate.” 

“Thanks,” Harry says. “But, I couldn’t have got to this place without you guys. You may not have stopped Eric right away because you didn’t know what was happening, but you’ve helped me every day since. If you guys don’t think you help me every single day by just being here to support me, then you’re all silly.” 

“I’m so fucking proud of you,” Louis grins. “So so so so proud.”

“Me too,” the other three boys agree. 

“How’s your therapy actually going?” Liam asks running wrapping his arms tightly around Harry’s waist to offer him comfort. 

“Alright, I guess, as well as therapy can go,” Harry laughs self deprecatingly. “I’m in a much better place than I was this time last month.”

“Good,” Niall grins. 

“I just–” Harry sighs leaning to bury his head into Liam’s shoulder. “It’s really hard.” 

Louis stands up from his place on the longer sofa and walks over to the armchair, placing himself on the arm of the chair and cuddling himself as much as he can into Harry and Liam. 

“I feel like I’m doing well sometimes,” Harry mutters into Liam’s neck. “Then I just feel like I’m back at square one and things will never get better again.” 

Zayn and Niall stand up from their sofa and walk towards the armchair, trying impossibly to squeeze themselves into the pile. Zayn ends up in Louis' lap cuddling Harry from his right side and Niall sits on the other arm of the chair and cuddles him from the left. 

“I just feel so fucking stupid, all the time,” Harry sniffs. “Why did I let it happen? Like why me?”

“Baby,” Louis kisses Harry’s hair and grabs Harry’s hand with his own running his thumb soothingly over the back of Harry’s hand. “I have no explanation for why it happened to you, but you’re the fucking bravest, most amazing person I know. You left, you walked away from a shit situation and that takes balls and I am so proud of you every single day. I never want you to feel like this.” 

“Yeah,” Liam agrees. “It wasn’t your fault, mate, and you’re not stupid at all, the best of us wouldn’t have been able to do what you did.” 

“I just can’t believe it happened,” Harry cries, moving slightly to lean himself more against Louis, but keeps his head in the same place so Zayn can keep running his fingers through his hair. 

“I know,” Louis says soothingly. “Wish I could change what happened.”

Harry looks towards Louis and smiles tiredly, he reaches up his hand and runs it down Louis' cheek. 

“It happened, it’s hard to wrap my head around, but it happened,” he sighs. “I just need to deal with it, I think I slowly am, but it’s hard.” 

“You’re doing so well,” Niall smiles. “I can’t believe how far you’ve come.” 

“I’m slowly realising it’s not my fault, but I need to start coming to terms with the fact it actually happened to me,” Harry sighs moving to lean his head back into Liam’s shoulder. “Helps to have you guys, love you all so fucking much.”

“We’re the dream team, baby,” Louis grins winking at Zayn before turning his attention back to Harry. “We’re always here for you.”

“Always,” Liam agrees squeezing Harry closer to him. 

“Can’t believe I’m so lucky,” Harry smiles reaching to grab Louis' hand once more and closes his eyes enjoying the feeling of his four favourite boys around him. 

*** 

“I’m nervous,” Harry admits running his hands down his shirt to make sure there are no creases. 

Louis grabs his hands in his own and kisses Harry’s cheek. 

“No reason to be, sunshine,” he smiles. “You’re not the one getting married.” 

“I guess,” Harry sighs looking at himself and Louis in the floor length mirror, they’re both in smart black suits and are wearing matching white shirts with a black collar, and a flower pinned to their breast pocket of their jackets. 

“You look so good,” Louis comments grinning. “Can’t wait to see how good you look in your own wedding suit.” 

“Me too,” Harry blushes looking down at where their hands are intertwined resting against Harry’s chest. “Love that we’re matching.” 

“Same, sweetheart,” Louis smiles. “Hope the boys are okay in the hotel.”

“I know, I felt bad staying here last night while they were in the hotel,” Harry sighs moving away from Louis and closer to the mirror to fix his hair. “But we’ll be at the hotel tonight so they won’t be lonely.” 

“Hey,” Louis starts moving up behind Harry and standing on his tiptoes to rest his chin on Harry’s shoulder. “You’re a part of the wedding party, you needed to be here to get ready with Gem.” 

“So are you,” Harry smiles.

Louis grins and tilts his head to kiss the side of Harry’s. 

“I know, I’m so happy that your family are so welcoming and making me a part of the family.” 

“I’m so glad,” Harry says turning in Louis' arms and leaning down to kiss him. “Now we should go and make sure Gemma is alright and see if she’s almost ready, the cars will be here in 15 minutes.” 

“Come on then,” Louis grabs Harry’s hand and leads him out of the room and across the corridor. 

“Knock, knock,” Harry says through the door. He opens the door when he hears his mum shout back that it’s okay to enter. 

Once the door has fully opened, Harry is frozen in the doorway staring at Gemma who has her back to him, but Harry can see her reflection in the mirror. She turns around as soon as she sees him standing there and smiles with tears in her eyes. 

“You look so smart,” she grins running her hands down the side of her dress. 

“Me?” Harry sniffs. “Look at you.” 

“Oh stop,” Gemma replies waving her hand. 

Harry rushes forward and wraps his arms around her catching her in a hug, Louis glances and sees Anne in the corner of the room with a tissue pressed to her eyes, so he walks forward and wraps her in a hug stroking her back soothingly. 

“You look amazing,” Louis whispers in Anne’s ear. She pulls back and grins at him before turning back to watch her two children who are still huddled together.

“You look beautiful, Gem,” Louis grins, looking at the scene before him. 

Gemma pulls herself away from Harry and smiles towards Louis while wiping her eyes. 

“Thanks, Lou, so do you,” she sniffs. “Now all of you need to stop making me cry, I didn’t pay for someone to do my makeup only for it to get ruined within an hour.”

“Love you so much,” Harry says before he pulls away completely and walks back to Louis' side. “Can’t believe you’re getting married.”

“Me neither,” Gemma grins.

“Cars are here,” Robin says popping his head around the door. “Wow, you look incredible, Gem.” 

“Thank you,” she grins back reaching down for her flowers on the side. 

“Let’s do this,” Harry smiles, grabbing Louis' hand and walking towards the door. 

*** 

The day goes off without a hitch, Harry keeps the rings safe in his pocket until the moment the priest asks for them. He and Louis also manage to not trip while they walk down the aisle together before Gemma. 

Harry glances across the table to where Gemma and Alex are sat with their heads pressed together giggling over something. He looks down at his own plate and moves his hand that isn’t holding his fork to rest on Louis' thigh, Louis turns his head from where he was talking with Alex’s mum and smiles at Harry before laying his hand over the top of Harry’s and squeezes it. 

“Love you,” Harry says puckering his lips. Louis smiles and leans over to press their lips together. 

“Love you, too,” Louis responds against Harry’s lips. “God, Liam was so right, we’re sappy as fuck today, I’m embarrassed for us.” 

“Dread us on our actual wedding day,” Harry laughs, leaning away from Louis to smile over at the boys who’re sat on a table with some of Gemma’s friends. 

“God, we’re going to be unbearable,” Louis giggles leaning his head down on Harry’s shoulders. 

Harry smiles down at him and runs his hands through Louis' hair lightly while the waiters clear away their plates. 

“I’m getting nervous for my speech now,” Harry admits. 

“I’ve heard you practice it a hundred times, you’ll be fine, babe,” Louis asks moving his head off Harry’s shoulder and wraps his arm around his shoulder. “Have you got it written down?”

“Yeah,” Harry nods his head. “Think I know it by heart, but I’ve got a copy in my pocket anyway.” 

“You’re going to do great, sweetheart,” Louis smiles squeezing Harry’s hand.

They both turn their attention away from each other when they hear glasses clinking together and see Alex’s best man standing from his chair, indicating the beginning of the speeches. They sit silently through his speech with Louis occasionally squeezing Harry’s hand as he feels him getting more nervous as time goes on. Before they know it, his speech is over and it’s Harry’s turn next, Louis leans over and plants a kiss on Harry’s cheek wishing him luck before Harry stands, but still keeps his hand in Louis'. 

“Um, hi, I’m Harry as most of you know I’m Gemma’s brother, and until just over two weeks ago I thought this day would never come,” he pauses looking down at the table while everyone laughs. “From the moment I was born, Gemma has always been my number one supporter and my favourite person in the world. I always wanted to be like her, anything she was doing I wanted to be doing the same thing. When I was six years old, I made a new friend and brought them home for tea and Gemma spent twenty minutes grilling her, making sure she was good enough to be my friend. Then when I was fifteen and realised I was gay, she was my main supporter and grilled every single friend or boyfriend I had to make sure they weren’t just friends with me to make fun of me or anything. When I brought Louis home, she tried to do the same thing and completely scared him silly,” he laughs glancing down at Louis. “I was planning on doing the same thing to Alex, but sorry Gem I just don’t have it in me.” 

Harry glances over at her to see her with tears in her eyes smiling. “I’ve only ever wanted the best for my favourite person, because any of you who know Gemma, know she deserves nothing less. Despite only meeting Alex two weeks ago, I know he is exactly that, I know he’ll always be there for her when I can’t be. I’m sure he’ll fit into our family just perfectly, but be warned, Louis is ready to fight for his place as the favourite son-in-law,” everyone in the room laughs loudly. “I’m so happy that Gemma found someone who is perfect for her, in fact so perfect that they decided they needed to get married after a three-week engagement.

“I’d like to raise my glass to Gemma for actually planning this wedding in two weeks and not having mum kill you for the shortest engagement ever. I’d also like to raise my glass to Alex. Gemma is the greatest person I’ve ever met and the most wonderful woman I know –other than my mother of course – so congrats for having landed someone as amazing as her. I sure know how it feels to be with someone that incredible,” he grins down at Louis and squeezes his hand. “Love is difficult, it’s not as easy as the songs or poetry make it out to be, but it’s the best feeling in the world. I know both of you will spend every single day appreciating how lucky you both are for having found each other, and I know you’ll wake up every day in complete awe of each other, and that is enough and all I could ask for my sister.

“Thank you both so much for allowing me to give this speech, this has been one of the best days of my life and I can only hope that my wedding day is as special as this one, but I hope I give myself more than two weeks to plan mine,” he grins down at Louis. “Now ladies and gentlemen, please be upstanding and raise your glasses to my favourite person and her favourite person. To a life of love and happiness, to Gemma and Alex.” 

“To Gemma and Alex,” the room choruses standing and raising their glasses. Louis stands wrapping his arm around Harry’s waist and squeezes him tightly to his side with clinking their glasses together. 

“You did amazing,” he whispers in Harry’s ear before pulling away just in time to see Gemma rushing over with her arms wide. She wraps Harry in a hug and buries her head in his neck, but Louis catches her face before it disappears and he sees tears streaming down her face. 

The speeches continue much the same, and Harry cries buckets when Anne stands to give her speech, Louis can’t say he did much better though when he feels a tear run down his cheek. 

As the night wears on Louis and Harry can both feel themselves getting more and more drunk with the extraordinary amounts of champagne they’ve drunk throughout the day. Before they know it, Gemma and Alex are stepping onto the dancefloor to take their first dance as a married couple. 

Harry cries, of course, throughout their entire dance he has tears streaming down his face and then the song is over and Louis is dragging him to the dancefloor. Harry sighs and sniffs slightly as Louis wraps his arms around him and the DJ plays some Coldplay song lowly in the background. 

“I’m so proud of you today,” Louis says leaning his head up slightly and kissing Harry’s lips. “Nicola has been here for the reception and you’ve been completely fine, you even said hello. Like I’m just so proud, you’ve come so far.” 

“I feel bad for her,” Harry mutters looking over to the table she is sat at. “Imagine finding out your son was abusive, like what do you do?” 

“I don’t know,” Louis replies sadly. “And I hope I never have to find out.” 

“Oh, don’t worry, our kids will be perfect,” Harry grins. “Perfect little angels.”

“Well if they take after their dad,” Louis winks at Harry. “I’m sure they’ll be perfect.” 

“I love you, I love you, I love you,” Harry smiles leaning down to kiss Louis then places his head on his shoulder. 

The next song that plays is Louis' favourite, it’s Ed Sheeran’s _Tenerife Sea_. He sways side to side placing his hands on Harry’s hips taking Harry with him, he hums the lyrics in Harry’s ear and feels Harry grinning against his shoulder. 

“Should this be the last thing I see, I want you to know it’s enough for me,” he sings quietly into Harry’s ear. “All that you are is all that I’ll ever need.” 

“’m so in love,” Harry sings back pulling his head away from Louis' shoulder to look in his eyes. “So in love, so in love, so in love.”

Louis grins leaning his head down and connects their lips as they continue to sway to the song. 

“All of the voices surrounding here, they just fade out when you take a breath,” he sings against Harry’s lips as he pulls away. 

They continue to sway to the music, and Harry catches Gemma dancing close to them grinning right at Louis and Harry and nudging Alex to look as well, he pokes his tongue out at them quickly before turning his attention back to Louis. 

“I love you so much,” Louis whispers.

“I love you, too,” Harry responds. “Don’t tell Gemma, but you’re my favourite person now.” 

“I better be your favourite person, sweetcheeks,” Louis grins wickedly, squeezing Harry closer to his chest. “You’re definitely mine.” 

“I feel blessed,” Harry laughs, leading them off the dancefloor back to their table. 

Once they’re sat back down, Harry decides not to sit on his own chair but to sit on Louis' lap instead, not that Louis is complaining. They’re sat there not even for five minutes exchanging light kisses before the boys and Sophia walk over and place themselves in the empty seats around the table. 

“God, are you two always on?” Zayn groans, taking the seat next to Louis. 

“Fuck off,” Louis mutters, pulling away and rubbing at his lips. “I’m in love, fucking sue me.” 

“I think it’s cute,” Sophia grins, placing her hand in Liam’s and bringing their joined hands into her lap. 

“You think everything is cute,” Liam laughs, leaning forward to kiss her. “But I do as well, so glad you found each other, guys. I love you both so much and I’m so glad you love each other so much.” 

“Fuck,” Louis grins. “I love you all.” 

Harry giggles in his lap and kisses Louis' ear tucking his head into his shoulder. He spends the rest of the night cuddled up to Louis' side, their kisses becoming increasingly more inappropriate, until Harry’s great aunt comes over and tells them if they’re going to carry on at the rate they are they’re better off going up to their hotel room for the night. They both giggle like children before wishing everyone goodnight and congratulating Gemma and Alex once more. Then they race off through the corridors to their hotel room, kissing each other all the way until they tumble onto the bed together. 

*** 

Harry wakes up with a massive hangover and groans as he gets up so that he is sitting on the edge of the bed and he buries his head in his hand in an attempt to stop his head spinning. He looks back over his shoulder to Louis, whose head is still buried in the pillow and his arm is outstretched in the space that Harry just vacated. Harry grins and leans over to kiss the side of Louis' head, four times before pulling away and moving over to the desk in the corner of the hotel room and flicking the switch on the kettle.

Once he’s finished making the two of them a cup of tea, he walks back over to the bed and places the cups of tea on the nightstand. He gets up on the bed and moves so he’s sitting on Louis and leans down to kiss every inch of Louis' face until he wakes up. 

Louis groans, blinking his eyes open slowly squinting up towards Harry who grins at him and leans down to kiss his lips. 

“Morning, sweetheart,” Louis whispers, his voice breaking as he does. “Ugh, I need a drink.” 

“Made you tea,” Harry says grabbing the mug from the side and passing it over. 

“Fuck, I love you,” Louis grins taking a sip from his mug. “How’s your head?”

“Not good,” Harry groans lying down and cuddling himself into Louis' side. 

Louis takes a gulp from his mug and leans back over to place his mug on his side table, then he moves back to Harry’s side and wrapping his arm around Harry and cuddling into his side. 

“I do not feel okay,” Louis mutters. “When do we need to be out of the room?”

“Ugh,” Harry groans then glances at the watch on his wrist. “In around an hour.” 

“Don’t want to move,” Louis frowns burying his face into Harry’s neck. Harry groans in agreement and begins to run his fingers gently though Louis' hair. 

“What time is our train?” Louis whispers against Harry’s neck his eyes falling closed again. 

“Lunchtime,” Harry sighs. “Just enough time to check out and say goodbye to my family.” 

“Sounds good,” Louis grins. “The boys getting the train back with us?” 

“Yeah,” Harry nods his head and kisses Louis head. “I actually have plans when we get back.” 

Louis sighs kissing the skin on Harry’s neck before pulling away and moving his head to look up at Harry. “What?” 

“Can’t tell you,” Harry grins leaning down to kiss Louis' lips. “It’s a surprise.”

“Hate surprises,” Louis mutters puckering his lips once more making Harry laugh and lean down to kiss him again. 

They spend the rest of the morning lying in bed together until five minutes before they have to check out, when they quickly get up, get dressed, and finish packing. Once they’ve checked out they go back to Anne’s for a quick bite to eat before they end up having to rush to the train station to make their train. They meet the lads and Sophia on the platform and rush into the cart getting a four-seater table and Liam and Sophia take the two seats behind them. 

Their journey is relatively boring, with Louis and Harry spending most of the journey sharing headphones and listening to the sappiest playlist Harry thinks he’s ever created. 

Once they get off the train at their stop, Harry grabs Louis' hand and leads him out of the station. 

“I gotta go now,” Harry grins leaning forward to kiss Louis' lips. “See you later, yeah?”

“Why can’t you tell me?” Louis frowns looking over Harry’s shoulder to see the rest of the boys emerging from the station and Liam kiss Sophia before she walks away from the station waving at all of the boys as she does. 

“It’s a surprise,” Harry says. “A good one, I promise.” 

“Can’t I come with you?” Louis asks his forehead wrinkling as he grumpily stares at Harry. 

“Usually I’d say yes,” Harry starts. “But I’ve got to do this on my own, it’s nothing bad, I promise.” 

“Fine,” Louis huffs and kisses Harry before pulling away dramatically and walking back over to the boys. “He doesn’t want me to go with him,” he says sadly looking back towards Harry who is already walking away. 

“It’ll be worth it,” Niall grins from where he’s stood next to Zayn his arm wrapped lowly around Zayn’s waist. 

“Wait,” Louis frowns. “He told you?”

Niall laughs and leans forward wrapping Louis in a hug running his hands over his back soothingly. 

“It’s only a surprise for you, mate,” he whispers in Louis' ear. 

“He never not tells me things,” Louis huffs. 

“It’s nothing bad,” Zayn laughs, grabbing Niall’s hand as they begin walking back to their flat. “Bro, you’re going to die, it’s amazing.” 

“Fuck sake,” Louis sighs. “I hate you all.” 

“No, you don’t,” Liam laughs wrapping his arm around Louis' shoulders. 

Once they get back to the flat Louis lounges around on the sofas flicking through the channels on the TV, while Liam heads off to work and Zayn and Niall go into their room to nap. He sighs loudly glancing at the door for the tenth time in twenty minutes before turning his attention back to the TV where _Extreme Couponing_ is playing. 

He gets through another episode of the show, where one woman even manages to get the store to owe her money, before Harry walks through the door grinning widely, his dimples on full display. 

“Hey there, sweet thing,” Harry smiles walking towards Louis and leaning down to kiss his forehead. 

“Hm,” Louis huffs. 

“You still in a mood?” Harry laughs and sits down next to Louis on the sofa. He wraps his arm around his shoulder and pulling Louis to his chest, but Louis only huffs and doesn’t go as willingly into Harry’s arms as he usually would. “Stop being so moody or I won’t tell you.” 

“Not being moody,” Louis mutters angling his head towards Harry and puckering his lips.

“You’re in the biggest mood,” Harry grins and leans down to connect their lips.

“Tell me,” Louis begs frowning. 

Harry laughs pulling away from Louis and grabs at the bottom of his top, he carefully pulls it up over his head and takes it off, throwing it to the side of the sofa.

“Baby,” Louis grins moving his hand forward to stroke over Harry’s collarbone. “I’ve seen your chest many times, what’s the surprise?”

“Look properly,” Harry smiles nervously. 

Louis huffs and looks away from Harry’s face to his chest, he moves his eyes down Harry’s chest to his hips and that’s when he sees it. Harry’s hips are wrapped in cling film, but Louis can vaguely see black ink on Harry’s right hip. 

“You got a tattoo?” 

Louis smiles, running his fingers lightly over the edge of the cling film. He looks back up to Harry’s face to see Harry grinning down at him his eyes sparkling.

“Yes,” Harry nods his head. “It’s actually about time to take off the cling film, do you want to see it properly?”

“Of course,” Louis laughs nodding his head quickly. 

Harry grins and leans forward to kiss Louis' lips before he stands up and slowly peels away the tape that’s holding the corners of the cling film, he unwraps the cling film from his body and balls it up ready to throw it in the bin. 

“What do you think?” Harry smiles walking back towards Louis. 

Louis smiles reaching out to grab gently at Harry’s hips and pulls him towards him. The tattoo is an anchor with the words ‘a smooth sea never’ above the anchor and ‘made a skilled sailor’ below.

“A smooth sea never made a skilled sailor?” Louis asks gently running his hands lightly over the ink.

“Yeah,” Harry nods. “I realised that I can’t change what happened to me. I need to accept that it is a thing that happened, but it’s not a thing that changed me for the worse. I am only stronger because of what happened to me.” 

“Amazing,” Louis breathes, leaning forward to gently place a kiss right on the tattoo. “I love you so much.”

“I just realised a lot of things lately, many of them thanks to you,” Harry smiles. “I realised that it wasn’t my fault, and it is definitely not something that I should be ashamed of. It is only something that makes me a stronger person, if life wasn’t shit at times then it’d be too easy.” 

Louis grins standing up from his seat and he dives forward to kiss Harry’s lips, Harry smiles into the kiss making their teeth clatter together slightly. They both laugh as they pull away, and Louis moves his hand to run it down Harry’s cheek lightly. 

“You’re incredible,” he whispers against Harry’s lips. “You surprise me every day with how strong you are, I am in complete awe of you.” 

“I love you so much,” Harry smiles. 

“Where’s the rope?” Louis asks looking back down at the tattoo, his fingers still running over Harry’s hips gently. 

“I was thinking, you, uh–” Harry starts nervously before cutting himself off and looks down awkwardly. 

“Go on,” Louis says encouragingly. 

“I just thought maybe if you were into the idea of matching tattoos, you could get the rope?” Harry says, biting his lip. “I hope I’m not scaring you off with this massive commitment, you don’t have to.” 

“Baby, calm down,” Louis reassures, moving his hands from Harry’s hips and bringing them up to Harry’s arms, running them lightly over his skin. 

“I just thought, you’ve helped me so much with this situation,” Harry smiles. “You’ve kept me grounded, I wouldn’t have been able to do this without you, I wouldn’t be here without you. So, I just thought it was the perfect metaphor, an anchor doesn’t work without the rope and I don’t work without you.”

“Fuck,” Louis breathes shakily, his eyes watering slightly. “I love you so much.”

“So, will you do it?” Harry asks nervously.

Louis giggles as he feels a tear run down his cheek and surges forward to kiss Harry’s lips multiple times before pulling away. 

“I’ll get it taken care of, baby,” he whispers. “Don’t you worry.”

**Author's Note:**

> I didn’t really feel confident writing about the therapy sessions, so sorry if that’s something you wanted to see but i am not a therapist so I didn't feel I had enough knowledge on the subject to write about something like that. 
> 
> Hope you all enjoyed and once again sorry it took me 3 years to complete!
> 
> Feedback and kudos are greatly appreciated.


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